Now that I am sufficiently rested from my foray into the pit of Satan known as Las Vegas, Nevada, I am ready to recap the glorious funness that we had there.
To start: porn is now officially known in our house as prawn. It's just funnier that way.
They aren't kidding when they tell you it's everywhere. We walked past more prawn passer-outers than you would think possible; a couple of times there were 4 in a row, all working for the same company (I knew this from the T-shirts they were wearing advertising the name and number of the "company", not from the cards). They would slap the cards in their hands right before they held one out to you. Yes, they held them out to me, too.
There were trucks of the semi variety whose only purpose was to drive around Vegas all day with these big billboards on the back with the name and number of their "company" along with pictures of 1-3 girls. (None were pretty, and I remember noticing one had incredibly small boobs.) And there were magazine dispenser thingys with "catalogs" (I guess that's what they were) in them that you could buy. Usually about 4-5 together, a couple of times a block.
One day it drizzled/spit/rained all day, which caused the prawn cards to turn to mush under everyone's feet, turning them into prawn pulp. It was so slick on one sidewalk from these things that The Man almost fell down. We then proceeded to discuss how we would sue every company that passed these cards out if he had fallen down, especially if he had hurt himself. Big Dreams.
That was pretty much it for the sex. Oh, except for the free "pirate" show at the Treasure Island casino. Apparently it used to be a family friendly show, with fighting pirates, explosions and what have you. Now it's just free sex. They changed the show to one featuring the mythical Sirens luring a poor pirate to their boat. They didn't do their research very well, as all they tried to do was take off his clothes and seduce him, when in reality, they should have just sat there and sang until his boat crashed into rocks, drowning him. But that's not fun enough, and there's no sex. So they made the girls not wear anything except some sequins, and they had the pirates who came to "save" their friend decide that sex must not be that bad and climb aboard after putting up a mediocre fight and burning all the clothes in the Sirens' closets (the warmest I was during the whole thing. The fire was HUGE) and thereby pissing them off. Because a girls clothes are more important than anything else, you know.
Except sex.
So we were greatly disappointed. Don't take the kiddies to go see it, as you will be bombarded by "What does she mean, Daddy?" afterwards. I think this is a new thing, as there were a lot of kids there, and a lot of angry comments from adults afterwards. Just go the the Bellagio and watch the water show (which we didn't do, because we were watching free sex).
Other than that, we did a lot of shopping, mostly of the window variety, and ate A LOT of great food.
Now for the God part.
We went to Vegas with The Dog Friends, and at one point we started discussing some of the problems women have with the priesthood and how it works. I have struggled a bit (well, more than a bit, but not greatly) with how it seems the priesthood is set up in the church as a way to get power. How it seems that by having the priesthood, you are superior to those without it because you can, essentially, channel God at times. The male half of The Dog Friends explained how he sees the priesthood to me in such a way that it cleared up more questions than I knew I had. I will try to explain it as well as I can here, because I feel it's important to pass on. This is (essentially) what he said:
The priesthood is not a right. It is a privilege, and one that can and will be taken away if abused.
It is a responsibility. If you have the priesthood, you become responsible for leading those who follow you (mostly your family) correctly. If you don't, and they mess up, you will be punished for it, not them.
Men are given the priesthood (this is his opinion, remember, and not church doctrine. But it makes sense to me.) because they need something to channel their energy towards good (some are better at it than others). Women are generally better at that (some are better at it than others), so don't need it. It also plays into the different roles men and women have been ordained to do.
Imagine that a man and a woman both have cups, and both need to be kept full. The man has so much in his cup, it is overflowing. The woman has a hole in the bottom of her cup; the "liquid" (energy) is constantly being given to others. The woman's cup is there to catch the overflow from the man's cup, and direct his energy towards good things. If the woman doesn't receive anything from the man, her cup is empty, and she goes elsewhere to look for what she needs to keep her cup full. If the man doesn't have the woman to receive his excess, it spills out everywhere, with no direction or purpose.
The liquid in this analogy is energy, whatever kind. A man without a woman has too much, and ends up getting into trouble because he has no one to give it to; a woman without a man doesn't have enough, and ends up getting into trouble looking for something to get it from. This all works in a circle, because the liquid coming from the woman's cup needs to be flowing back into the mans cup, so he can keep filling her cup, and so on. Yin and Yang. The priesthood is given to the men to teach them how to give selflessly to others, something women already know how to do. So I guess, basically, men and women can't work correctly without the other, and men have the priesthood to help them.
He explained it much better than I am, I'm sure. Since I know they read this, if I got any of it wrong, let me know, and I will change it.
Who knew that you could find an answer to prayers in the middle of a bunch of prawn?
Pictures will be forthcoming.
Really, how awesome is that teaser line? This was in the hallway to the bathrooms at the Planet Hollywood buffet.
Dog Friend #2 (sorry, the wife is always #1), and The Man, walking to get food.
