Oh, the birth. That's what you all want to read about. Yep, I did it without drugs. I wanted them during transition, oh did I ever! The gall bladder pain was absolutely terrible, it even surpassed some of my labor pains. But it was such a different pain. It can't compare, because it wasn't remotely similar. But I'm already forgetting what it was really like, so I thought I would get it out there before I came on here and gushed about how beautiful it all was and so totally not painful, not really, if you think about it.
Because it was. So totally painful. And beautiful.
I started having contractions sometime on Thursday, probably in the afternoon. I'm not entirely sure when, because, having never had contractions before, I didn't know what I was looking for. I was uncomfortable, but I didn't feel any real pain, and I didn't think I was experiencing that nesting thing that is supposed happen, though I did paint her dresser. Maybe that was my nesting. I was doing it because it needed to be done before she came.
ANYWAY.
I had a midwife appointment that day, so when I went in, I asked if she could tell me if I was having contractions. By that time they were getting more painful, but they were so inconsistent, and so mild, that I figured they were Braxton-Hicks (which I never really had, except one time when I was walking the river with The Dog Friends). But she showed me how hard my stomach would get during one. So I was really having them. Ooooo! How exciting!
I got no sleep that night. Oh, I tried, because I knew that I would need energy for labor. But silly me and my habit of staying up late......
Let's just say it didn't happen. When I went to lay down, the contractions got bad enough that I had to get up again. So I took a shower, counting through the contractions out loud so I could know when I couldn't talk through them any more. Then I went to get something to eat. And finally, at 4 in the morning, I woke The Man up to have him time the contractions. We left for the birth center a little after 5 am. I wasn't too worried they would send me home, because it was hurting pretty bad, and the contractions were pretty frequent. And thus labor was officially started (in my mind anyway). There was lots of walking around, lots of talking with The Man when I could talk, lots of moaning and groaning. I did get into the tub for quite a while, in the hopes of it helping with the pain, but it only slowed things down and made my back labor worse, unfortunately, so I ended up getting out after they told me that my cervix and my uterus weren't lined up yet. The options they gave me to change that were not ones I wanted, so I got out in the hopes that walking would change it. Did it ever. I was also in transition for a long time before I really realized it. I talked a lot about wanting to go home and sleep, about never doing this again without an epidural, about wanting it to be over, how I didn't want to do it anymore. I think I said a lot of other things too, but I can't remember them now. You'd have to ask The Man.
Then, my water broke. It was a very interesting sensation, and I wasn't even sure it had. Maybe I had just peed a little or something. The Man got the midwives though, and it had. All of a sudden, it's like my brain cleared up. I could kind of think straight, and contractions almost didn't hurt. There were actual pauses between contractions. I was in bliss then. At some point after that (I don't want to say soon after, because it could have been 6 hours or 6 minutes for all I could tell) I started to want to push. I got back in the tub to finish off, and with my first push in there is when I heard the pop. Yeah, I broke my tail bone. It may have been the position I was in (squatting, not sitting), but I had to push at the time, so I did. I didn't feel any pain from it, but I certainly heard it. Apparently, this happens frequently. Thanks for telling me.
Ultimately, I didn't end up doing a water birth. I was sad about that, but being in the water actually made my labor harder and slower. My back would hurt so much, and nothing would happen while I was in there. So I had to get out. I ended up giving birth on a birthing stool (they preferred that over the toilet, for some reason).
Oh, and my Lamaze breathing? Went straight out the window. I tried to do it, I really did, but labor and how it went was so unexpected. I didn't expect it to hurt like it did. I knew it would hurt, and hurt a lot, but it's such a different kind of pain. But at least I got to yell when I was pushing, instead of having to keep up the moaning stuff (which did help with contractions, but I was just sick of it by that time). I don't think I could have helped it anyway.
The worst part was right before I started pushing. That was definitely the most painful. I couldn't talk, I could barely breathe, and I could only walk a few steps before I had to stop and hang off of The Man during a contraction. The actual pushing wasn't so bad, it really just felt like a lot of pressure.
Thankfully, it only took 55 minutes of pushing to get her out. My Lamaze video had said to expect 1-3 hours of it. I was so glad it didn't take that long (and I'm sure The Man's arm was glad for that too).
I cried when I first saw her. But don't tell anyone that. I have to keep up my heart-of-ice biker girl image you know.
I'm so, so, so glad she is here. She has already made up for all the pain she caused me getting here. I love you, baby girl.
Oh yeah, I should probably take that baby counter thing down.
Let's just say it didn't happen. When I went to lay down, the contractions got bad enough that I had to get up again. So I took a shower, counting through the contractions out loud so I could know when I couldn't talk through them any more. Then I went to get something to eat. And finally, at 4 in the morning, I woke The Man up to have him time the contractions. We left for the birth center a little after 5 am. I wasn't too worried they would send me home, because it was hurting pretty bad, and the contractions were pretty frequent. And thus labor was officially started (in my mind anyway). There was lots of walking around, lots of talking with The Man when I could talk, lots of moaning and groaning. I did get into the tub for quite a while, in the hopes of it helping with the pain, but it only slowed things down and made my back labor worse, unfortunately, so I ended up getting out after they told me that my cervix and my uterus weren't lined up yet. The options they gave me to change that were not ones I wanted, so I got out in the hopes that walking would change it. Did it ever. I was also in transition for a long time before I really realized it. I talked a lot about wanting to go home and sleep, about never doing this again without an epidural, about wanting it to be over, how I didn't want to do it anymore. I think I said a lot of other things too, but I can't remember them now. You'd have to ask The Man.
Then, my water broke. It was a very interesting sensation, and I wasn't even sure it had. Maybe I had just peed a little or something. The Man got the midwives though, and it had. All of a sudden, it's like my brain cleared up. I could kind of think straight, and contractions almost didn't hurt. There were actual pauses between contractions. I was in bliss then. At some point after that (I don't want to say soon after, because it could have been 6 hours or 6 minutes for all I could tell) I started to want to push. I got back in the tub to finish off, and with my first push in there is when I heard the pop. Yeah, I broke my tail bone. It may have been the position I was in (squatting, not sitting), but I had to push at the time, so I did. I didn't feel any pain from it, but I certainly heard it. Apparently, this happens frequently. Thanks for telling me.
Ultimately, I didn't end up doing a water birth. I was sad about that, but being in the water actually made my labor harder and slower. My back would hurt so much, and nothing would happen while I was in there. So I had to get out. I ended up giving birth on a birthing stool (they preferred that over the toilet, for some reason).
Oh, and my Lamaze breathing? Went straight out the window. I tried to do it, I really did, but labor and how it went was so unexpected. I didn't expect it to hurt like it did. I knew it would hurt, and hurt a lot, but it's such a different kind of pain. But at least I got to yell when I was pushing, instead of having to keep up the moaning stuff (which did help with contractions, but I was just sick of it by that time). I don't think I could have helped it anyway.
The worst part was right before I started pushing. That was definitely the most painful. I couldn't talk, I could barely breathe, and I could only walk a few steps before I had to stop and hang off of The Man during a contraction. The actual pushing wasn't so bad, it really just felt like a lot of pressure.
Thankfully, it only took 55 minutes of pushing to get her out. My Lamaze video had said to expect 1-3 hours of it. I was so glad it didn't take that long (and I'm sure The Man's arm was glad for that too).
I cried when I first saw her. But don't tell anyone that. I have to keep up my heart-of-ice biker girl image you know.
I'm so, so, so glad she is here. She has already made up for all the pain she caused me getting here. I love you, baby girl.
Oh yeah, I should probably take that baby counter thing down.
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I will be watching, and just like Santa Claus, if you are naughty, I will hunt you down and feed you to my reindeer (I keep them in my shed). I reserve the right to delete any and all comment that make my feelgoods feel bad.