Coming Out of The Closet

No, not that closet.  These thoughts are very rambly.  Read it anyway. 

I am a feminist.  I'm not a new one; I think I have always noticed women's issues, but I have not really gotten into studying and learning about feminism and women's issues until recently.  So my being conscious of it is new. 

First, let me reassure you that I don't hate men.  I don't believe that men are the epitome of evil.  I do not wish to be a man.  If I were a man, I would not have been able to experience the power of pregnancy and birth, the power I share with God in creating life. 

But my beliefs in the roles women have to play in this world have changed dramatically.  I no longer believe that a man, any man, is capable of deciding what I need to hear, feel, do, or be as a woman. 

I no longer believe that Heavenly Mother is a silent figure, nor do I believe that Heavenly Father wants Her to be.  I believe that the reason we know nothing about Her is solely because our society is a male-centric society and men do not, and can not, understand the importance for women to know about Her.  As such, they don't ask the questions necessary to learn about Her.  I no longer believe that God is Heavenly Father alone.  I believe that God is the Godhead.  And I believe Heavenly Mother to be a part of that Godhead.  The scriptures state that a man and a woman must become one flesh (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-8, Ephesians 5:31).  I now believe that Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother are more literally one flesh than we (or at least me) can possibly understand, which to me means She is a part of the Godhead.  I am certain that She has a voice in how God helps us in our lives, how we are to be blessed, what we need to be taught and how we are taught these lessons.  And I believe that someday, we are going to know more about Her in this life. 

I believe that just by being female, I have an inherent power over our world.  And that power extends far beyond my family and home.  I am seeing more and more around me sexist attitudes about women, especially in the media.  And sadly, I am seeing so many people either not notice it (probably because it is so prevalent), laugh it off as silly and inconsequential, or just quietly sit by, believing that they can do nothing to stop it.  A great example:  The Man got a gaming magazine in the mail yesterday.  The front cover was for Halo 4.  On the back (the front and back covers were one big picture), it showed Cortana (the computer generated helper who is also a female); she's naked. The only way you can tell that she is supposed to be computer generated is that her body looks like it is made of circuit boards.  But is is most certainly naked.  There is even a hint of nipple.  When The Man saw it, he was rightly disgusted.  In the first game, she was glitchy and see through.  There was no hint that she might also be naked.  But he said that with every game she has gotten more solid, and more sexy.  Because apparently the only way you can get a man to buy a game is to put a naked woman in it.  I'm sorry, but I personally believe that my husband thinks about more things that sex and naked women  (he will probably still play the game though, because he loves the series).

I do believe that men and women are different enough that they have different spheres of power (think of the yin-yang symbol), different roles to play in how the world is shaped.  I do NOT believe, however, that that means women's roles are only dealing with the home and children.  Our society would never imagine telling a man that the only job he would truly be happy in is as a banker, and that all men must be bankers, must stay in their banks taking care of the bank and the money in it, and making sure that they are a place of rest for their hard-working wives when they come to the bank.  No, men are told that they can be anything they want, and that there are many different jobs that they can be happy in as a man.  Women are told that they are called by God to have one job: Wife-mother-homemaker.  I say bull.  If a man is not expected to be happy in one job, than we should not expect all women to be happy being mothers and homemakers.  I, personally, am very happy staying at home.  But I know many women who are not/would not be.  I believe it is important that a parent be home when the kids are, but I no longer believe that it has to be the mother.  I know that Jesse would be much happier if he could be the stay-at-home parent (probably better at it, too); if I were career-driven, I would be all over that.  And I will no longer place myself as the superior parent just because I am the mother.  Many times the fathers are just better at it.

Our world is so incredibly out of balance right now.  Women are not respected as they should be, and neither are men, or children.  I see our world as in a very defensive stance, and it saddens me.  We all believe that someone is out to get us, someone is trying tear us down.  So we must tear down everyone else first, hurt someone else before they hurt us.  We are understanding less and less it seems, how God works, how they want us to be.  The first and second great commandments are being thrown away in favor of judgement and condemnation of those who do not believe as we do.  We need to love our Creator, whether you believe that to be God, Mother Earth, the primordial soup and some lightening, or all of that.  And we need to love EVERYONE the way WE want to be loved ourselves.  If we want respect, we must respect others first. We can not force others to respect us through scare-tactics or threats or by virtue of our place in society.  That is not true respect. 

I know that someday that balance will come.  I just hope that I will be around to see it.             

How To Refill Your Swiffer WetJet

Or, How To Stick It To The Man.

I found this out while surfing the World Wide Webs a while ago, but only just recently had a chance to try it.  It was a roaring success, so I'm sharing it here.  And with pictures!  Wow!

First, you'll need pliers

and your old, empty Swiffer WetJet bottle (I had already refilled mine when I realized pictures would be good).

Using the pliers, twist the cap until it starts to turn on it's own.  Remove the cap. (Action shot!)  (Also, after the initial removal of the cap, you shouldn't have to use pliers again the next time you need to refill it.)

Fill with your favorite floor cleaner (I recommend vinegar and water.  Cheap, efficient, disinfects, and it won't kill the kiddies).

Put the cap back on, tightly.  Put it in your Swiffer WetJet.

And you're done!  You're now all set to make your floors look like no one lives there (at least until you let the dogs in.  Or your daughter spills something.  Or your husband.  *Sigh*).

Participation in France's National Sport

I made a pork stew tonight that was surprisingly delicious, considering one of the ingredients.  It was supposed to be beef stew, but pork stew meat was several dollars cheaper, so that's what I bought.  Having never had pork stew, I was wary about how it would taste, but it turned out great.  It has a subtly sweet taste to it, but was still quite savory.  So, I thought I would share the recipe.  It's from an old cook book (it still has the 4 food groups in it, if that says anything) titled "The Starving Students Cookbook" by Dede Napoli.  My variations are in red.

1 lb lean beef (pork) stew meat
4 carrots, cut in chunks
2 onions (I used 1 large one and it was more than enough), cut in chunks
2 stalks celery, cut in chunks
1 can (15 oz) whole tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup minute tapioca (Jello makes one) (important)
dash of thyme & oregano (I used considerably more than a dash.  Probably between 1/4 and 1/2 teaspoon)
pinch of salt (again, I used more than a pinch)
1 heaping teaspoon instant coffee (not something I had on hand, so I skipped it.  I'm not going to buy coffee for a teaspoon of it.  But if you have it, throw it in, and let me know how it tastes)
1 beef bouillon cube or 1 teaspoon instant beef bouillon/soup base

Preheat oven to 250* (I used my Crockpot on low)
Dump all ingredients in a large oven proof pan (or your Crockpot).  Cover.
Cook in 250* oven for 7 hours, or a 300* oven for 5 hours.  Stir a couple times if you get a chance. (I cooked it on low for 8 or 9 hours, and it turned out fine.  I wouldn't do less than 7 on low though, just to be sure everything got cooked.  And I didn't stir it until I was getting ready to dish it up.)


It makes 2 large servings or 3 small ones, so it's perfect for those with no kids, college students, and swinging singles (I'm looking at you, Wisp).  It could also easily be doubled or tripled, without it getting super pricey.

Enjoy!

 

Herman's Hermits: Seers of the Future

Or any day, in our house.  Baby Cakes' body doesn't like dairy.

We have struggled for most of her life with diaper rash.  Really awful diaper rash.  The kind that would crack and ooze (no bleeding though, thank goodness).  I know a lot of people thought it was because we use cloth diapers instead of disposables, but that never made much of a difference.  It would get slightly better when we used disposables only because we were able to use zinc based diaper rash cream, which you can't use with cloth diapers.  Even so, her rashes would never completely go away.  And there were many times that she would load her diaper, and just start crying and screaming because she was so sore.  Times when she wouldn't sit down in her bath because the warm water stung.

My poor baby.

But, all is sunshine and roses in our home, because her rash has gone away.  We discovered dairy was the source of her rashes when we ran out of milk for a couple of days, and it almost immediately cleared up.  We had been giving her milk pretty much non stop because she doesn't register on the charts for her weight at all, and her pediatrician was concerned.  So, lots of cheese, whole milk, and butter on everything.  She loved the taste, but her body obviously didn't.  The thought never occurred to us that she had a problem with dairy, even though I had heard from multiple sources that constant diaper rash can be a sign of a food intolerance/allergy.  And now I've got Mom Guilt that I didn't figure it out sooner.

I'm not entirely sure what exactly she has, whether an allergy to dairy all together, or if she is just lactose intolerant.  Looking up the symptoms, an allergy would cause her immune system to go into over drive, and she would have some kind of a immune response, like massive mucus production, or hives, or swelling.  Intolerance usually shows as just a digestive problem, like nausea, constipation, or diarrhea (her particular symptom).  BUT, the intolerance symptoms can also be allergy symptoms.  *frustrated scream*

So she doesn't eat cheese, or anything with it, butter, or milk right now.  She can eat baked goods with dairy in it, so that makes it a little easier.  And I heard from a friend that yogurt can be eaten if you are lactose intolerant because it has the live and active cultures in it.  So we might try that, if I can find some other resources backing it up.

Personally, I'm leaning towards a lactose intolerance because she had one symptom: diarrhea (at least that we know of.  If her stomach ever hurt, we could never tell.  She's not a fussy baby.  And if she had gas from it, well, she's always been great at farting and burping, so that wouldn't have been any different).  No hives, no mucus, no swelling.  The only way to know for sure which she has is to get her tested, which we aren't going to do in the near future.  Removing dairy has worked for us, and for now, that's good enough.

(This Post Will Not Be) Breaking The Sound Barrier

I've been avoiding posting much here for a couple of reasons.

1) I feel like all I want to post is political stuff, and my views don't seem to be commonly held by most people I know.  I try pretty hard to not talk about political stuff with anyone that I don't know if they will agree with me, just to keep the peace.  Plus, I find a lot of it very confusing, especially when I'm bombarded by people who are very enthusiastic about politics trying to change my mind.  I'm not good at arguing my point, especially to people who aren't actually willing to listen with an open mind, but rather to listen so they can show me where I'm wrong.  I get flustered very easily.  I base absolutely everything I do and believe in on how it makes me feel.  I do realize that doing that makes me extremely open to falling for bullshit spin-doctoring, but if something I previously felt good about suddenly (or not so suddenly) makes me feel less than thrilled, it is put aside to either figure out which is true for me (truth is pretty subjective sometimes), or I cast it aside because it is no longer important for me to really hold any sort of opinion on it.  Also, my politics, religious, and life views are going through a major shift right now, and I'm not really open to talking about it much, though that may change in the near future.

2)  My life is incredibly boring.  Seriously.  And I think most parents understand this, especially the ones that stay home.  I mean, The Man comes home and I get all excited to tell him about how I actually managed to get away from my computer long enough to walk to Smiths, and how, once again, I was amazed at how good it felt to get outside, even though I think my ears turned to icicles it was so cold.  Or that I scooped the dog poop in the backyard.  Or vacuumed.  Thrilling stuff, let me tell you.

But, I'm trying people.  I do want to keep writing stuff, because I'm funny and clever, and I need to share that with everyone in the world.

So, what's going on in my life right now?

Well, I'm mourning the fact that Baby Cakes is now down to once a day breastfeeding, and no longer needs me to rock her to sleep, at least for her naps.  I'm not sure about at night, because her room is pretty dark, and I have crappy crappy vision in the dark.  I think she's usually pretty awake though.  There is a huge part of me that doesn't miss that her only comfort was my boob, but it's hard giving up getting to hold that sleeping baby.  Thankfully, I think she would be pretty upset if I just stuck her in her crib, so I still get to cuddle her and rock her a little bit.  I'm still breastfeeding her at night before she goes to bed, because I still can, and it seems to soothe her so much.  But that will probably also soon go the way of the Quagga, and I think that's part of what makes me so sad.  Nursing is so bonding, and was such a huge part of my life, and hers.  Her weaning is her taking one more step away from me and one step closer to independence.

Good gravy, I never thought I would be saying or even thinking something like that when she's not even a year and a half old.

Also, flopping your boob out every 2 hours is not nearly as liberating as you might think, though not wearing a bra for most of the day is certainly more comfortable.

I'm also working hard on figuring out how to make a lot of our own convenience foods, like cake mixes, soup mixes, snacks, etc.  The Man stepped down from his supervisor position at work because the stress was killing him, and so he could go to school, but he's taking a massive pay cut in the process.  I'm hoping that we can get on food stamps, because otherwise we will have to eat ramen and hot dogs.  And not the good hot dogs either.  Me getting a job is out of the question, for various reason, though I'm hoping to figure out a way to motivate myself to crochet stuff to sell.  It won't be much, but I might be able to make myself enough money to keep myself in my yarn addiction, at least.  I've been finding tons and tons of websites dedicated to being fugal though, and so if I can just wrap my head around all the information I'm reading, I think I'll be able to manage keeping us fed with goodish food.

  It's now time for........

Stuff About Me You Never Wanted to Know!!!


What TV show or movie do you watch when you really need to calm down and come back to yourself?


The answer to that question really varies.  It depends on why I'm wound up.  If I'm depressed or super stressed, a really funny show does it for me.  I'm partial to British comedies like The I.T. Crowd and Red Dwarf.  I also like Arrested Development and Better Off Ted.  I have yet to find a really funny movie that I want to watch over and over again, though Kung Fu Panda came really close (I think The Man ruined that one, since he watches it on repeat when he's sick).  


If I need to mellow out because I'm angry, I will watch something like Bones, Lie To Me, or various British detective shows and/or Dramadies (Doc Martin being my current favorite).


And of course, no matter what mood I'm in, Across The Universe just makes me feel all hippie inside, and I love that.  And that movie.  You should all watch it.  Right now.  Just do it.  You know you want to.