Is it so bad of me that I want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide right now? Maybe a nicer hole than Saddam Hussein ended up in, but a hole where no one could find me unless I wanted them to would be nice. My brain and emotions are just swimming, barely, in everything that is going on right now in my life (which I don't feel comfortable talking about here yet) and in society. I long for the days when it was okay for me to not care about politics or media or if I was reading/doing/believing the "right" things. I especially hate the atmosphere of "I'm right and you're wrong unless you absolutely believe me 100%" that has become prevalent. I'm tired of being afraid of being judged if I do something or say something I know most of those around me wouldn't agree with. I'm tired of that holding me back from finding out more of who I am. I'm tired of the black and white thinking. I'm tired of feeling caged up.
The world has never been LESS black and white than it is now. And I just want to hide. I want to curl up with some terrible book (probably Twilight), watch terrible movies (probably Hot Rod and Cry Baby) and play amazing video games (that's still in the air, but probably Lego ones) (but not Farmville. Please, are you kidding me? I'm a SERIOUS gamer-girl, damn it).
And since I haven't done one in a long time:
More Things About Me You Never Wanted to Know!!!!
What book has made
the biggest impression on you so far?
I can honestly say I don't know. I read a lot, but I don't tend to read Life Changing Tomes of Great Heaviness. I don't even have a favorite author. Heck, I usually don't remember the authors name, if I bother to look at who wrote the book. I did like The Blue Castle (thank you Wisp!) and I'm really liking the Sookie Stackhouse novels right now. And I'm trying to get through The Scarlet Letter, but not having much luck (of course, that could be because I only read it on the toilet). I just don't read books meant to leave big impressions. I find those books very hard to read - they seem so full of themselves sometimes.
You need to move to Canada. No seriously! People don't care as much about stuff up here and I don't think you'd feel so judged. Hang in there! Message me if you need someone to talk to (er, write to). Let me know if I can do anything for you... like send you some floaties or a snorkle or something... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie! I think a lot of it is just being in Utah Valley. The air can get pretty thick with self-righteousness sometimes. I think I would like living there, if it weren't so blasted cold most of the year. I have ice in my veins, and will probably end up retiring somewhere near the equator. But I am jealous of the health care system.
ReplyDeleteI can relate somewhat. People try to make it a black & white world when it's all gray. :/ I can't even imagine how obnoxious politics must be in Utah valley right now. Ew.
ReplyDeleteAlso I hope I don't make you feel like you have to agree 100% with me. If so, I'm sorry. :(
Yay The Blue Castle! :D I haven't read much of the Important Literachaw, either. ;)
Keep your chin up. =) Wish we could come over. *hugs*