Some days, I hate being a woman.
I haven't gotten my period yet, but I have started having days of major mood swings again. Whee! I certainly didn't miss those. For some reason, being pregnant actually leveled me out some. But it's back with a vengeance. I think my body hates me. Yes, it most certainly does.
Yesterday was particularly bad, and being tired didn't help with the swinging from being happy and content to being angry and frustrated to being depressed. Oh so much fun. The plus side; I'm enjoying all this great hormonal action without getting a period. THAT is truly a blessing. I hate cramps, and I can't say that I'm unhappy that I haven't had any for a year now (no, labor does NOT count as cramps. Sorry). Though with not having one in so long, I'll probably not be paying attention and one day WHAM! Woman-ness running down my leg. Good thing having a baby that is exclusively breastfeeding ties you to your home, because it would most certainly hit me while out grocery shopping or something, and I'm not smart enough to keep the tools of the trade with me.
And now for breastfeeding. I love breastfeeding, most of the time. When she is quiet as she eats anyway, not thrashing around and trying to skin me alive with her sharp little baby nails. I'm not sure why she does that. She doesn't come off my breast or cry when she does, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't have any thing to do with something I ate. She just tries her best to tear my boob off. Sometimes tucking her arms in against my belly works to calm her down, but most times she just squirms until she gets one out and she goes after my skin again. I try adjusting her position, re-latching her, anything I can think of, but most time, she just keeps at it. Very frustrating. She's also taken to biting me a little bit already. Usually when she's done nursing and is just sucking away for fun. Thankfully I can fix that by re-latching her, or taking her off if she's fallen asleep. And that's another thing. She almost never un-latches herself. I have to do it, because she will lay there, asleep for half an hour or more after I'm pretty certain she's done, but still latched on. She used to pull away when she was finished; I'm not sure why she doesn't now.
But breastfeeding is also something that I hate about being a woman. I can't wait until she's eating food that I'm not making. Just for a break. Even if she would go longer than 1.5-2 hours between feedings would be nice. She goes about 3 hours at night, and only eats for 20 minutes at a time then, but baby, I'm tired of being tired. She doesn't sleep long enough during the day, usually, for me to nap with her. If I put her in her cradle, or her crib, she wakes up about 15 minutes later, right when I'm falling asleep. Poop on that. Right now, she is fast asleep, probably out of pure frustration. She couldn't keep her pacifier in her mouth, and when it fell out, it was always just out of reach. And mom isn't always quick on the draw and wouldn't put it back as soon as it came out. She has her angry face on. I love it. Maybe I'll go take a nap on the couch.
lol. My baby does the thrashing thing. She's trying to poo and eat at the same time and no amount of talking to her changes the fact she shuldn't do that. Sometimes she succeeds with a vengence. She also scratches me. She's been liking the feel of different textures lately and apparently my arm is a different texture. Ouch. And the mood swings. Yes, I get those too. Poor Matt. Oh and the period issue, I have usually been on the mini pill (which I get at Planned Parenthood btw, because they charge you what you can afford) but if I nurse for the year, my period comes back at about 11 months of so. Really if you need any advice call me or talk to me.
ReplyDelete