Dear Prudence

Warning: This post will sound a bit crazy. Well, crazier than usual, anyway.



You know how people will ask you sometimes, if you could have anything you could wish for, what would it be? Most people (okay, everyone except possibly the Prophet, and Jesus) would ask for money, or for something that could only be solved by having more money. I have to say, having more money would be very nice. Especially if it never ran out. Very nice. But if I was asked that today, right now, I wouldn't ask for that. Nope. Maybe tomorrow.

I would wish that I could be happy.
No, scratch that. I would wish that I could be joyful. To me, happiness is nice, but joy runs deep, and won't go away, once you have it.
I would wish that my confusion would go away. That I would stop questioning myself and my motives for anything and everything I do.
I would wish that I would wake up tomorrow and find myself.
I would wish to never have to question the love people have for me, to always believe that someone, somewhere, really does love me, and care about me, and take comfort in that.
I would wish that I didn't believe that I have dragged so many through my dirt.
I would wish that I had no dirt to drag people through.
I would wish to be able to look up, no matter where I am, and believe.
I would wish to be able to see.

About a month ago, I met a very nice girl, very late at night (that is significant, the time). She is so sweet, and so kind. She trusts so easily, at least, she trusted me, and my friend. She is so open and loving. So believing in the small things. She finds wonder in things like textures, and smells. And colors. She loves colors. She could get lost in colors. But she has been hurt so badly, and is very shy. She doesn't like to come outside, so seeing her was a small miracle.
I called her Prudence. The name just fits. Plus, if you know the song, it fits too. Because she's been hiding ever since.

And that is the biggest wish I have. To see her again. To know her, and learn from her. But I'm also afraid of her, because if I do see her again, and she stays, I will lose myself. See, she may trust me, but I don't trust her. I have been hurt far too many times to trust someone so simple. It's the simple ones that always hurt you the most. It's the simple ones that leave the deepest scars. It's the simple ones that have the most murderous plots and designs on your soul. And it's the simple trust that is so easily broken. But still, there is that voice, that desire, to see her again. Especially when I hear that song. But I just know she will burn me. I just know it.

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play?

Dear Prudence, open up your eyes
Dear Prudence, see the sunny skies
The wind is low, the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Look around round round
Look around round round
Oh look around

Dear Prudence, let me see you smile
Dear Prudence, like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play?

I like to imagine that someone cares enough about her to sing that song to her, and mean it. And that she would believe it.