Zzzzzzzz.......

I am so tired.  I think I actually got more sleep, consistent sleep, when The Daughter was a newborn.  I think I got 3 hours last night.  Maybe 4.  I just couldn't shut my brain off.  So of course, it has to be the night that The Man is thrashing around in his sleep all night (he had no idea when I told him this morning), and The Daughter is making noise all night.  All 3 of us are tired.  And she's the only one who can actually just sleep when she wants to.  But is she?  Nope.  She's rubbing her eyes, vasilatting between fussing and smiling, sucking on her soothie (can I just defend myself here for giving her one?  She has such a need to suck on something, though you would never know it for how often it comes out of her mouth.  If I didn't give it to her, she'd be sucking on me, or crying.  I put up with that for about 3 weeks.  I feel enough like a cow, I'm not keen on feeling like a pacifier too), pulling her soothie out to suck/chew on her fingers (it's so CUTE!), and squirming around, doing all she can to fight it off.  I would take her upstairs to nap with her, but I have homework I'm procrasitnating doing.  I plan my days around when The Mother-In-Law gets home from work so I can get some good sleep.  Not sleeping makes parenting hard.  I think God should have made babies to sleep at night from day one, so that parents could be better parents.  The Man thinks that He didn't because of agency or something like that.  He's probably right, but still.  I will be asking that question when I'm dead. 


I can barely function with one kid and no sleep.  I don't know how you parents out there with more than one can do it.


I was so hoping that having a baby would bring me and my mom closer together; that I would understand her better.  I was also hoping that she would finally see me as an adult, since, you know, I have my own kid and all.


Nope. 


If anything, our relationship right now is even more tenous, though I'm not sure she knows that.  I had to see her 3 times in 3 months (when the baby was born in October, in November for her blessing, and at Christmas).  I will be seeing her again in April, probably.  And in the summer.  And next fall.  And so on.  4 times a year.  I could barely stay civil to her seeing her 2 times a year.  I've got to learn some trick to keep my sanity now that I have to see her twice as much.  The only reason it's happening is because of The Daughter.  I'm certainly not going to deny her knowing her grandmother just because I have a slightly bad relationship with her. 
What brought this on?  Well, there is a family "reunion" that is being planned for the immediate family on my side.  Me and The Man, my brothers and their families, and my parents.  The plans were to go to a campground that we used to go to as kids.  The last family reunion was held there (we didn't go).  I found out that the cabins aren't baby safe, especially for one that is at least crawling, if not learning how to walk.  So I said "Let's do this somewhere else.  Somewhere where we are all happy with the accomidations."  My mom could NOT believe that I wouldn't want to go there.  I mean, my brothers had such fun last time!  Why do I want to deny them that?  I'm sure my baby will be just fine, really!  Ignore what you heard, it doesn't matter.  My brothers had fun!  I don't want to ruin it for them.


Really?  Apparently MY opinion on where we go doesn't matter.  Whether I feel my child is safe or not doesn't matter.  So I talked to my brothers, sort of (I actually talked to Seattle Sister-In-Law #2, who talked to both my brothers.  The fact that I now have a child didn't really occur to one of them.  They were very open to going somewhere else).  They came up with some ideas of other places to go, and I liked some of them, so I suggested them to my mom instead.  What do I get?  HER suggestion that The Man, The Daughter, and I stay at a hotel that is 10 minutes away from the campground instead, while everyone else stays there.  It felt like she was punishing us for daring to suggest that we go somewhere else.  Like we had to be seperated from every body because we aren't any fun.  Not that I would normally mind the seperation, but to completely ignore my suggestions?  That stung.
But I had family on my side, and after Seattle Sister-In-Law #2 found out, she called my mom out, and more nicely than I would have.  And since her children-in-law can walk on water, my mom was quite open to the idea of EVERYONE deciding where to go so that EVERYONE is satisfied with the trip and EVERYONE has fun.  Imagine that!
Then she sent me an email implying that we aren't thinking about our baby and her size in relation to the size of our dogs (HUGE) and how we play with them and that she is going to get hurt.  Because apparently we would never think to make sure she was out of the way before we started throwing a ball for them to chase (yes, we play that game in the house.  I'm amazed that we haven't broken the tv yet).  Her reasons?  Our German Shepard (the only one in question, actually) ran into her last summer, she ran into The Mother-In-Law, and one time she jumped over the baby and her paw hit her forehead leaving a little red mark and a bump for about a day (we weren't playing with her that time.  It was dinner time and we didn't think she would jump over The Man, who was holding The Daughter, to get to the stairs.  She's never done that before).  I just deleted that one.

She's a very clumsy German Shepard.