cough, moan, sneeze and repeat

Being sick sucks.

I remember wanting to be sick when I was a kid so I could stay home from school. But when I would get sick, I missed all my friends. But I never remembered that once I was better.

Who am I kidding? I still do that.

I called in sick, and The Boss let me, but I'm not sure he believes I'm sick. And I have to go in tomorrow, I have no choice there. But at least I can make sick on Sunday, and get some more rest.

Which I should probably do now. Except that I'm ravenously hungry.

*sigh*

Being sick sucks.

It's So Lovely When Looking Out My Window

Ah, snow. How I detest you. . . .

Yeah, that's right. I'm not a snow lover. I never have been, never will be. The best snow I've ever seen is the inch-long patch that is rapidly disappearing on my sidewalk in full sunlight.

It was snowing so hard today when I left for work that I could barely see down the block. It took me over an hour to get to work. It normally takes me 20 minutes. Yeah, that was fun. But by the time I left, it was nice and sunny, even a little warm. And the roads were nice and clear. Except for those morons who think that wet roads=snowy roads just because there are snow piles on the side of the road. They should just stay home.

The worst part about the snow today: the freight shipment never arrived. It was supposed to be at The Store by about 8:30 or 9 AM today. It wasn't. The Managers called to see when they would come, they gave the ETA at 11:00. I don't know why we believed them. They still weren't there at 12, when we were all sent home after calling them and getting and ETA of 1:30-2. And of course, they didn't arrive then, either. These guys are terrible at ETA's. So they are supposed to be there at 7:30 AM. And this is when I hate my position and wish I was a peon and not responsible for being there first.

I did get permission to come at 8 instead. Blech. Not much better.

We'll see if they show up. Cross your fingers.

Oh, I do get to go to some hot springs on Thursday with some lovely ladies to just hang out, bitch, and bond. That makes me very happy.

Dr. Horrible is my new BFF

You know what else I want for Christmas? This. On DVD. Which apparently you can get. Who knew Doogie Howser could sing? Go. Watch. And buy (for me).

BAH! HUMBUG!

I hate the holidays.

They are the reason I worked 13 hours today. 13. Yep, that's right, 13. WHY!?

Because along with the small but incredibly-time-consuming freight shipment that we usually get, we also got a massive amount of turkeys (and a bigger-than-normal produce shipment, but that isn't my department, just in my way. Oh, and the produce manager wasn't there when it came, so I got to move it all around while I tried to do my job, until it could be put away. GRRRR!!). But of course, they didn't come when everyone was there, willing to work their rears off. Nope, they had to come right when they all left. And we were already short people. We only had 4 people total to get everything done (2 checking things in in the back, 2 putting things out), with 1 having to leave at 4, the other at 4:30. And the girl who I gave a ride to this morning had to find another ride home, so she left at 4, too. So, I was alone from 4:30 until 10 PM. Thankfully I didn't have to check in all the frozen turkeys that came today, but I did have to figure out which ones weighed the closest to the turkey pre-orders and tape (Ha! Yeah right! Tape LOVES moisture!) them to the turkeys. Then I had to put them all in totes (black plastic boxes that held an average of 2 WHOLE TURKEYS!!!). Then those went in the fridge. Thankfully, for that, I had 3 other people helping. 2 25-pound turkeys in 1 box are not light. My back will be killing me tomorrow (Hey, massage-therapist friend! Want some practice?) Then I got to start checking in supplements left over from Thursday (about 7), the ones from UPS, and the ones from Fed-Ex. Checking in supplements involves opening boxes ranging from small to HUGE and taking out ALL little the pill bottles, arranging them by type on the desk, scanning them and checking against the invoice (once I find it and mark everything up properly) that the amount shipped and the suggested retail price is right. Most of the boxes where HUGE, and there was probably between 20 and 25 boxes to do. All by myself. I did train a girl, but I learned that if I work by myself, I get things done a lot faster. I'm easily distracted, you see, and she's very much fun to talk to. And I still didn't get them all done. I'm am NOT going in tomorrow. The freight manager had BETTER show up.

To top it off, I'm on my period. Cramps make everything better.

So, I'm exhausted, and really don't know why I'm posting this now. I really want to be in the bathtub, or falling asleep in a nice, snugly bed. But, I just knew you were all dying to know how my job is killing me.

By the way, this is the second time I've done this (staying after by myself), and the third time I've stayed really late to get things done. If I don't get employee of the freaking year, I will bomb the store.

I blame the turkeys.

Medical School is Now in Session

So, The Man has an ulcer, for all you out there who didn't know that already. A bleeding one at that. Fun times for all. He went to the doctor a while ago though, and was given Prevacid. Now, I'm not a big fan of prescription meds, as my job and desire to be a Master Herbalist will attest. I believe, very very strongly, that Heavenly Father put everything we need to heal ourselves on this earth; that there is no need for us to try to find chemical versions of these natural medicines. Especially since the drug companies insist on charging us so much money for the chemical versions. But then, so do the supplement companies that sell the natural versions. BUT, if it comes down to it, I'm sending my family to the doctor. Because those chemicals DO work, I just don't like them.

Anyway, the Prevacid is helping. So is the cayenne, fennugreek, and marshmallow root. And the apple cider vinegar did wonders for his pain, when it would flare up. And apparently it worked really well, because, even though it apparently tasted disgusting, he kept taking it when the ulcer would hurt. Twice a day for about 4 days. He hasn't had to take it at all in a couple of days. Yay! Oh, and apparently, though he hasn't tried this yet, aloe vera juice will heal it too. But why mess with what's working, right?  Also, apparently I like the word apparently.  Apparently a lot.

As for me, well, the middle toe on my left foot hurts, for no apparent reason, and has for 3 weeks now. Ever since I started my new position. It hurts to walk, stand, run, sit, sleep, everything. It really sucks. And I have to get up at 5:30 AM TWICE next month, because the store manager is a sadist and insists on having the employee meetings and manager meetings at 7 AM. Not too bad a time, if you live a few minutes away, but when you live half an hour away, and it takes you an hour just to get showered, dressed, and eat, well, then you know The Manager hates you. *sigh* Why did I want this job again?

My Job is Tamborine Man

Yay for drugs! I have found a nice little white pill that takes all my problems away on cloudy days, and that isn't addicting. As in, if I wake up feeling happy, I don't need the pill to stay that way. And, it helps me sleep. What a dream pill. No more being depressed and unable to come out of it just because it's cloudy outside. Stupid vitamin D.

I completly and totally, love my job. No particular reason. Just thought I would share that.

Oh, and I have some awesome (I think) pictures of the mountains by my house from last week.

How cool is that? And it was all sunny and nice by our house. The clouds are actually moving away from us, they had been raining on us all morning. My happy pills are what made me appreciate the way this looked, and I just had to force you all to appreciate it too.

And here's a picture of Dogs 1 and 2 just itching to get out in the front yard and sniff our bushes:

AI my A**

So our computer hasn't been broken since we reformatted the hard drive the first time. It had just decided that it was going to try to run off of our external hard drive instead of the actual hard drive. Why? Because it wanted to. One of our friends said that his computer will try to boot from his wife's ipod if it's plugged in to it and it's turned on. I thought computers were supposed to be smarter than that. Guess not.

And the view of the mountains from our front yard was amazing when I left for work this morning. I wish I had had my camera then. Or better yet, a cell phone with a camera. It was so cool. I was going to take a picture when I got home, forgetting that by going back to real time, it would be darkish when I got off work. Oh well. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Anyone want to get me a picture capable cell phone for Christmas? I'll even let you pay the bill. You lucky dog, you. Then no one will ever have to miss out on the many beautiful pictures I can take.

Someone?

Anyone?

Aw, come on!

Unofficial Officialness

Just a quick update for all those out there who care. I have a new position at work, as the Unofficial Freight Crew Assistant. There is some big convoluted reason for why it's not official, and never will be, but I don't understand it. But I did get a bit of a pay raise, and while my hourly wage is still teeny tiny, it's more than I've ever been paid before. Sad, when it's only $7.75 an hour. But I'll be working about 10 hours more a week, Monday-Friday. We'll see how that works out. Maybe now, we won't be losing money just by buying our groceries every week.

And you lucky ducks will get to hear about how tired I am. My Halloween resolution is to post more. Just tell me what to write about.

Found

Dog 1 is home, safe and sound. Her paws are all torn up and her nails are down to the quick from running all day on hot cement and asphalt. But she will be okay. She drank about a gallon of water when she got home, and wolfed some food, and is now flopped out on whatever flat surface she finds. Also, if you feel so inclined, instead of gifts for Christmas this year, we would prefer donations to our "Get a Fence the Stupid Dogs Can't Jump" fund. You are under no obligation to do this, or even get us gifts at all though you know you want to. . . . but we thought we would ask. Thank you.

Lost

Dog 1 has gone missing. Prayers, please.

Dirty Little Secrets

So I was tagged by two people, The Salt Lake Friends and The Florida Friends. Since it is the same thing, I'll just poop it out in one giant brain strain.

I am supposed to tell about 6 quirks I have. This will taking some thinking. *sigh* I just got off work! I don't want to think. . . .

1. I love to color things. I can't draw at all, but give me a picture and lots of cool colors and I am perfectly happy coloring it in. I used to do this a lot more, but not so much now. I don't like to color in simple pictures to often, I like the really complicated pictures. I can make the world so much prettier in a picture than it is in real life.

2. I will use an electric heater year round. I have one under my computer desk that I will turn on to keep my feet warm. I do this even if it's 102 outside and 90 inside. In the winter, I will take the heater with me, and make sure it's blowing directly on me as much as possible. I've been doing this since I was a kid. It's like wrapping up in a really big comforter.

3. I like to pick at peeling things, especially paint. I have to look at other things that aren't peeling if I need to keep my hands off of it. I have even gotten down on the floor of my work and peeled the sealant off (it comes off in big sheets because it needs to be redone). It drives me crazy!

4. If you have a bunch of small things that need to be organized into a certain space, I will happily immerse myself in it for hours. I come up with all sorts of convoluted systems to make something fit. But put me in a big room or house and tell me to organize it, and I will just organize the books. I can't stand big organization projects.

5. Speaking of books, I have to have books, even if I never read them. A room doesn't feel finished to me if there isn't at least one bookshelf full of books there. The bigger the area, the more books it needs. My goal now is to have at least one book shelf of books in every room that we frequent in our house. I just need to get more books, and probably a few more shelves too. And I'll keep any book given to me, even if I know I'll never read it. I love, love, love books.

6. I cover my mouth with my hand when I'm reading a book or reading something on the computer. Fingers under my nose, maybe off to the right a little, and my chin on my palm. I don't even realize I'm doing it. I don't want to do it because I'm worried it will cause my chin and cheeks to break out, but it hasn't happened yet.

So now I tag. . . .well, all the people I know who blog and would be willing to do this have already done it, except The Geologist Friend. You know who you are; tag, your it!

Who missed me?

I had some thoughts on race and racism, but you know what? It doesn't matter. My thoughts, views, and opinions won't change anyone's mind, it will just make them mad. Racism sucks, especially when you are the target of it. Boy, I sure love living here.

Sorry for the lack of posting. Our brand new computer has decided to not work for the last three weeks. We had The Payson Friend look at it, and he tried to fix it. Every time his magic fingers touched something, it worked fine. But as soon as we got it home, well, our computer hard drive is the devil's spawn. So, I'm borrowing a computer from a friend who isn't using it. I am so glad to have it, because reading my class lectures are pretty important. But I wish I had my computer back. There's all sorts of stuff that I need to do, but can't without it. Stupid spawn of Satan.

The Mom is coming for a semi-surprise visit tomorrow. I'm trying to not expect anything of her. Maybe that way I won't stress about what she MIGHT do, and freak out when she doesn't/does do it. I just want to have a good time while she's here. She's leaving Monday, I think, so it's only for a bit. But now I will have to definitely watch conference on Saturday, which I usually don't. Oh well, maybe I'll learn something.

Oh, and I still love my job. I am working freight now, which means I actually have to get up in the morning, but 7:30 in the morning is so much better than 6:30. I've managed it before, I should be able to do it again. The position is a bit more flexible, too. As soon as freight is put away, I can go. Yesterday, it was done by 1. I stayed, because I wanted to make sure I wasn't needed, but it's nice to know that I can leave if something unexpected comes up. And it's nice having dinner with The Man (when we have food). The manager hopes to make me freight assistant, which means 11-5, Monday-Friday. We'll see how much I like that. I enjoy having lots of time off. Gives me time to pretend that I'm going to clean the house. Speaking of which, I have lots of that to do tomorrow before 3. Yay.

A is for Autumn, not A**

Well, Labor Day is past, and the planet is following the calender to a T. It's now officially autumn. At least in my book. The leaves are still on all the trees, the grass is still green (and needs mowing), and the plants in my garden not dead from neglect are still growing. But it's fall. The sky is a different shade of blue, and the air smells different. It's colder at night, and it's not getting near as hot during the day (yay for open windows!), which means we can finally do without air conditioning. I'm waiting for the day when I wake up, look outside, and all the leaves are dead and on the ground. I'm not looking forward to it. I really hate winter. I hate the dead trees, I hate the dirty snow, I hate the cold and the ice. I hate how it feels so much longer than summer does, and I hate hate HATE the clouds. Gray, cloudy days make me depressed before I even know it's cloudy out. I wake up to a different shade of light in my room and I don't want to get out of bed. I get frustrated and grumpy and cry more easily. And no, it's not PMS. At least not most of the time. I don't understand people who get happy on cloudy days. But it seems to me that most people around here are like that. *sigh* I'm surrounded by freaks of nature.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! SAP ALERT! OUT OF CHARACTER MUSHINESS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

But I do love the way autumn feels on my skin. Each season feels different, has a different color to it. Autumn feels golden. That's the best way I can put it. When it's a nice, clear day, no clouds, cool without being freezing, I love autumn. I don't get to see many of those days anymore. I'm too busy being inside all the time, playing at being a grown up. I'm starting to really understand why my parents and old people wax nostalgic all the time about the past and their childhood. I'm starting to do it myself. You kids don't know how good you've got it! So quit whining! And get off my lawn!

I hope that someday I can really change the way I live, and spend more of it outdoors, just enjoying the outside. Being locked up, hidden away, I miss so much. But I go outside, and sometimes it makes it all better, if only for a few minutes. Then Dog 2 pees on the lawn, Dog 1 starts eating the grass (maybe I should let her, then at least it would be shorter), I hear some punk kid playing their music too loud, and the wind blows and I get cold, so I go inside, forgetting why I liked being outside in the first place. Autumn is just too damn confusing.

The Dark Night

I recently saw "The Dark Knight" twice in a week. Last Saturday, and last night. Both times with good friends.

I didn't like it.

Okay, okay, fists down. I know it was a good movie. It was excellently done. Heath Ledger lived up to all the hype about how well he played the Joker. They were obviously planning on using him again. I think it would be an incredibly stupid move if they tried to replace him with another, even if he died early in the next movie. But then, Jack Nicholson (did I spell that right?) was considered the definitive Joker for years, that he couldn't be topped. Michael Keaton was also considered the definitive Batman too, until Christian Bale stepped in. I think Jack Nicholson played The Joker as he was seen in the comics. And he did a fantastic job. Scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. But the new Batman series seems to be striving to make Gotham, Batman, and all it's characters more realistic, and less like it came from a comic book world. That's how Heath Ledger played him, and I like that.

So why don't I like the movie? Well, it's violent. A lot of people die. There isn't any blood, at all, but it is violent. And I don't like violence. I don't like "seeing" people die, or get hurt. It makes me not like a movie. I didn't like King Kong for the same reason (that includes the Faye Wray version). It disturbs me. I have decided that my favorite genre of movies is comedies (even though I'm picky about them, too). I like intensity, I like drama, I don't like death, I don't like pain. You'd never know that, with the fact that I love to watch crime dramas, and Court TV. I guess I don't like fictional death. Anyway, that's the reason I didn't enjoy seeing the movie. Too bad, because it really was well done. I highly recommend it.

Oh, and it's nowhere NEAR as dark as a lot of people have been saying. Except that a lot of it takes place at night. And your in a dark theater. And you'll probably go at night, so it's dark outside. But that's as dark as it gets. Still, don't take your kids to see it.

Prayer and Consequences

So, lately I have been praying for the ability to take responsibility for my own life. Not every day, or even regularly, but I have, when it has occurred to me to ask. Because I know that I shouldn't like playing the blame game as much as I do. But, man, does the blame game make life easier for myself (not necessarily for others; it probably just pisses them off). But, in fairness to those around me, I'm trying to stop. Because if I want to end up with friends when I die, I need to stop blaming everyone and everything when something goes wrong. As for the consequences for that prayer? Well, now I have the opportunity to not play the blame-game with The Mom and take responsibility for my half of our crappy, crappy relationship. She sent me a letter that totally threw me for a loop, making me see her as a person, (I know, an actual person!) rather than as just a mom. Grrrr! It was all so much easier before! But, when The Man gets off the phone, I feel that I have to call her to respond to this letter. I would write one back, but I can't stand non-instant communication in situations like this. The faster I get them over with (with all the requisite crying) the better. I have no idea if this will actually change things between me and The Mom. I hoping it does. We've done this so many, many times and I feel like it has always back-fired on me. But I'm going to keep trying, because, well, I asked for it.

Dang you Heavenly Father! When I prayed for this, I didn't mean for it to happen! *shaking of fist to the sky*

(I would have said damn, but you can't really damn Him, since He's the only one who can do the damning, and I would probably be damned myself for damning Him, and I really don't want that. Damn damn damn damn damn.)

Good to get that out of my system.

Now, let's see if I can take responsibility for myself and my actions, AND own up to them. Slow going, I'm sure, but so be it. I'm counting on doing this making me a better person. I know, I know, you all think I'm perfect. Sorry to bust your bubble, but I'm not. No, really, I'm not. Not till next week anyway. Then I will be.

*sigh* I guess I just have to do this, no matter how much I don't want to. I did ask for it. Here's to hoping that I make it.

*sigh*

Sorry, folks. I know you all are dying to hear from me, but I have tried several times now to find something to blog about, but I'm coming up empty. My life is boring. I get up, I do school stuff, I try to convince myself that I need to clean my house for the sake of our allergies, try to take the dogs on a walk without getting heat stroke, shower, go to work, and come home exhausted. That's about it. I suppose I could talk about the trip we just took to Montana, but it's exhausting to even think about. I didn't want to go. The Little Brother wasn't getting married anymore, why should we? But The Mom expected us to come. So we went. We did a lot of things, and I was grumpy pretty much the whole time. Feeling trapped will do strange things like that to you. And I had the obligatory "What's wrong with you? Why do you hate me so much?" discussion (no fight this time, I held myself back, thankyouverymuch) with The Mom. The Dad had to send the usual "Stop picking on your mom" e-mail because that's what she told him. And I had the usual cry fest on The Man's shoulder. I wondered why I ever bother to visit The Parents. We also went to the zoo and saw a couple of movies (10,000 BC and X-Files. I liked 10,000 BC, but not so much X-Files). I forgot to do the school work that I planned on doing. I played a video game of The Dad's and stole The Little Brother's laptop to surf the Internet. I picked up dog poo, and discovered that Dog #2 had eaten part of a stuffed animal and I had to pull the fabric out of her butt because it wouldn't come out. Lovely. I went shopping with The Mom, and she bought me 2 pairs of shoes, one for work and the other to replace the flip flops she had had since I was a baby and had given to me when I was 17 or so. I only wanted work shoes, but she threw the flip-flops away after I expressly told her not to because she thought they were disgusting. They still had life in them, and they weren't disgusting. They were just old. They weren't even falling apart. Oh well. We went to dinner once and out to lunch almost every day. The Man, The Little Brother, and The Dad went golfing a couple of times. And we learned how incredibly noisy our dogs are at night, since they were in the same room as us. And we came home, finally. Next, we are off to visit The Sister-In-Law in That One Town in That One State. Hopefully something a little more interesting will happen before then, or at least on the trip, so I can blog about it. We'll see.

HAAAAAAAAPY birthdayness!

Today is my honey's birthday, and even though he won't read this soon, if ever, I thought I would tell the world why MY honey is the best honey around.

He never tells me that I can't do something, even if it is something utterly ridiculous, like taking harp lessons.
He says that he wants to die at the same time as me, or within a few minutes so that we don't have to spend any time apart.
He SAYS that tickling and poking me means he loves me, though the jury's out on that one.
He can draw really well, and draws pictures for me (not this picture. I found this somewhere online, but it shows our personalities pretty well, I think).
He's super romantic and always remembers that I LOVE to get flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day. He got me a 3 pound box once. Oh wait, that was Christmas. But still. . . .
He says I look better without makeup.
He says that I look better now than on the day we were married (when I was still a size 5) because now I have boobs and hips.
He is a very, very good listener, and also has very, very good advise when I need it (whether I want it or not).
He's HOT!!!!
He has the most beautiful eyes, that can be blue, green, gray, or a combination, and I never know what I'm going to see when I look in them.
He gets the most ecstatic look on his face when I make some food that he really really likes (like sugared pecans).
He always offers to help cook dinner.
If he's ever gotten mad or frustrated at me, he's never shown it.
He refuses to argue with me. We disagree, but he will not argue about it.
He is the funniest person I know.
He has the most expressive face.
He talks with his whole body, sometimes, when he's really excited or happy about something.
He likes to watch cartoons with me.
He will make the best father because he is so understanding and patient, which I am not.
He is temple-worthy.
He worthily bears the priesthood, but knows that we are equals as head of the household.
He does the laundry for me, because I hate to do it.
He will help me clean the house before people come to visit.
He's HOT!!!!
He's. . . . .ummm. . . . .adventurous.
He has his priorities straight, knows what he wants out of life, and is striving for it.
He is happy with himself as he is, for the most part.
He's wicked sarcastic, and has a weird sense of humor.
He likes to make up nicknames for me.
He is willing and able to do a job that most people can't even imagine doing, everyday.
I can't threaten him with anything, because he knows that it will never happen.
He cuddles with me when I need it most.
He's smart.
I learn something new everyday about him. And from him.
He's given me reason to strive to be better than I am.
We haven't spent a night apart since we've been married, and he gets sad if he even thinks about having to do that. Even though he claims I steal the blankets.
Oh, and did I mention, HE'S HOT!!!!!!

So there you go, that's a small portion of the man I married. To know all of him, you'd have be around him more than even I have been. He's complex and deep, like one of those underground rivers. I love every piece of him, and I will forever. Happy Birthday, honey!

Why Can't It All Be Like This?

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In Response To

This post was originally a response comment to The-Western-Sister-In-Law. But it got too long, and I figured that if she was confused about my stance on health foods and natural health, so were other people. Read the post Gullible to read her comment and to understand better what I'm talking about.

The point behind this post is that I, personally, will believe just about anything put in front of my nose about natural health, even if all I read is a couple of pages and those pages don't even get into the point of the book. I am gullible when it comes to this stuff. But I am also learning, from my work and from what I'm deciding I want to believe, that moderation in all things also includes this. A lot of people who frequent my work place are very weird about their food intake. There are a few that will stand at the register and talk to the cashiers for 20 minutes or more about how their particular chosen path of natural health (there are many) is better than the rest of them and they can prove it. We (meaning me and another cashier) had one guy tell us that by eating nothing but raw food, he no longer has to shower, except when he gets itchy from all the dead skin. He doesn't stink, and he doesn't get dirty because there is no more oil on his skin to attract dirt. But he did stink (he hadn't showered in 3 weeks), and not having oil on your skin is not healthy. It's there for a reason. I have also had one wax poetic on the virtue of not eating gluten, whether you can digest it or not. And others on the sins of eating sugar in any form, including honey. You get a lot of strange people in there.
While I hope to someday eat nothing but healthy food, and be able to avoid fast food and junk food all together, I'm not expecting it to happen soon. I do believe that there is a lot of crap and chemicals in processed, fast, and junk food that can't be good for you and that is addicting, and I'm starting to see how my body reacts differently to junk food and healthy food, and it surprises me. But I like Whoppers too much to give them up entirely yet, and I hate cooking enough to not be motivated enough to spend all the time in the kitchen that eating healthier calls for. But I also believe very strongly in eating what you want, when you want. If you know that bag of Cheetos isn't going to help your body be healthy in any way (made with real cheese or not), and you still want to eat it, more power to you. Education about this stuff is key. My reason for taking a course in natural health, and my goal of becoming a Master Herbalist, is that I'm hoping that it will benefit me and my little family. I will help those who come to me, or who are open to at least listening to, if not following, what I have learned. I refuse to become one of those people who judges and looks down on people because they "just don't know any better," and forces my ideas and opinions on them unsolicited. Maybe they do, and choose to eat it anyway. I know I do. I love Cheetos. If there is a bag of them, I will eat them. So why should I ever judge those who make the same decisions?
I guess basically I'm on the fence right now. I believe a lot of the stuff I'm taught about the kind of food that is traditionally American, but I'm not ready to give it up yet. We'll see what happens, I suppose. Let's hope that I fall on the side of health, because right now, that's the side I want to be on.

Schizophrenia in Utero

It's been awhile. I have no specific thoughts, per say. My mind is in a complete muddle at the moment, and probably will be for a few more days. The Parents just left after 4 days here, and it went better than expected, and worse than expected. The Mom didn't say a word about kids or grand kids, she pretty much kept her mouth shut about our eating habits as well, and she didn't say anything about how dirty (or not) our bathrooms or kitchen were. She didn't give me any unsolicited advise, either. And it totally threw me for a loop.

I had no idea what to do, how to act. It was still tense, at least on my end, as it always is, but it was a different tense. I couldn't tell which way was up, or which direction I should be going. It was definitely strange. The Man was the one to point out to me that the tension was my fault, and man did it suck to realize that he was right. It had always been The Mom's fault before, for not respecting boundaries, but then, I never enforced them either, and invited her to violate them by telling her things, or asking questions about stuff that I really shouldn't have. It's hard to do when you really want that TV relationship with your mom, all buddy buddy and sunshine and flowers. All I want is total, unquestioned acceptance of my opinions, my values, my choices, of me. But I guess no mother does that.

Only 3 bad things happened this week: 1) She told me that The Dad told her that I weighed 150 pounds 3 years ago when he weighed me for life insurance, when in actuality I weighed 130, according to him (I don't weigh myself for various purposes), and therefore implying that I was too fat because I have gained too much weight since then (not that much, I promise!) to be buying the tights I wanted to get. 2) She questioned my testimony of my church when I told her that I don't believe that religion as we know it will exist when Christ comes back and 3) She also asked me (in not so many words) if I was materialistic because I was talking about all the different things I want to do with our house and implied that I was unhappy because of this materialism and that I was not truly following what my church teaches about materialism, and therefore have lost my testimony. I think that's what gets me the most. She knows I'm less happy than unhappy, because I have repeatedly told her this through the years, in a vain attempt to help her understand, though that is starting to change (the happiness, not her understanding abilities). She knows that I struggle with depression on a daily basis. And I've told her time and again that part of that depression is clinical, meaning that it's genetic/a chemical imbalance (I get it from The Dad's side of the family) and part of it isn't-I'm not going to get into that here. The clinical side will always rear it's ugly head when I'm stressed or upset. I just don't handle those emotions well. Well, actually, I don't handle ANY emotions well. But that's another post, for when I'm feeling depressed enough to actually dump my problems on the unsuspecting public. Well, more so than I usually do.



But they are gone now, home safe and sound. I should be happy, feel release and the ability to move on with my real life. But I can't! I feel trapped, stuck. I just want to crawl under my bed and tell the world to go away and right it's self, and then I will come out and go about my usual business. (I would probably not see the light of day until well after the Second Coming.) I can't stand it! I'm restless, inattentive, and I've got some weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away and that I can't identify. The worst part? I have to go to The Home State to see her again in August. Less than a month away. And I have to do this, I'm obligated to, because she is sad that she only got to see us for 4 days, and she is sad that The Little Brother and The Little Ex-Sister-In-Law-To-Be broke up, and she wants to gather her children around her to feel better. I'm not a mother, so I can't say that I understand this seeming desire to assure herself that she is loved at all by surrounding herself with her children that aren't doing anything that she wants them to. It's hard to be there when you feel like you have no choice in being there. I would much rather go there to support her by my own volition, and hopefully someday that will happen, but as for now, well, let's just say that it's quite comfortable under my bed, or at least it would be if The Man would just jack it up a little more so that I can roll over occasionally.

Repent or Be Forever Doomed! The End of Days is Nigh!

Sad, sad times have descended upon this little bloggers family. Weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth is happening throughout the land. Sackcloth and ashes are being worn in grief. . . .

Okay, maybe not, but a sad thing did happen. The Little Brother and The Little Sister-In-Law-To-Be broke up. Oh, there goes the wailing and gnashing of teeth again. *sigh*
I was really sad when The Mom called and told me what happened, and even sadder when I harassed The Little Brother until he called me and told me himself what happened. So there is no August wedding for us to be attending, and I no longer have an excuse to get all gussied up and flutter my eyelashes at The Man until he asks me if I have something in my eye. At least not that day.
It is all a little confusing for the rest of us though, because they have decided to stay good friends, and are still using the tickets they got for their honeymoon trip. They are just going as friends now. And The Little Brother suggested family reunions every other year that also involve The Little Ex-Sister-In-Law-To-Be's family. Oh, and when I was talking to him on the phone, he very hurriedly had to answer another call from her. His excuse was that she was in the woods. I have no idea what that means phone call wise (she is a forestry major at The College), but he never did call me back. (So Little Brother, if you are reading this (though I highly doubt it), I am still waiting by my phone to hear from you. CALL ME BACK OR THEY ARE ALL GOING TO GET IT! Love you!) I guess we will see what happens. Relationships are weird, sometimes. Both The Man and I commend them for not being afraid to call off the wedding so close to the date. I've heard so many stories of couples that should have called it off or postponed it at least until they were better prepared or more sure of things. While The Man and I did get married 4 months after we met, I would never, ever recommend that to any other couple. That was a stroke of good luck and Heavenly Father yelling at both of us to get on with it. We both felt the need to get married as soon as possible, though neither of us are sure why. But hey, you know the old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do." That applies here, folks.

And in happier news, today is our 5 year anniversary! Too bad there will be no fun-having tonight for it, because both of us are sick. I fully blame the fun-having we had over the weekend at The Anniversary Vacation Place (The Hines Mansion in Provo, UT. I highly recommend it). It exhausted both of us. But it was a good exhaustion, until we woke up sick with nasty colds. This is my second one in as many weeks. I am so ready for this to be over! I'm still waiting for The Best Friend's magic cold-taking-away fairy wand to be waved over me. Someday, I will be able to breathe again.

Orem Crapperfest

Okay, so the title's not very ingenious, but hey, it's late.

So, it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and we decided to take advantage of that and go grocery shopping at Hell*mart. Mostly because if we didn't, we would have no food to eat for the next week. So we leave, happily listening to Mica on the way, and not even getting that frustrated when we came across an accident cutting off two lanes of traffic. We get to said grocery store and purchase our overpriced cheapness and leave. Only to discover that we CAN'T GET HOME. That's right. Orem City has been having some week long party called Orem Summerfest. And today was the day of the parade. We didn't know about Summerfest, since we don't read the paper or watch TV, but we knew there was going to be a parade because there had been chairs, blankets, and roped off areas of grass people had put up on the "best" spots. What we didn't know is that our little cul-de-sac thingy, having only 3 entrances (2 being on the parade route), would have them all blocked off by police, leaving us unable to get to our house to unload said groceries. Now, we could have gotten there by foot, they had no problem with that. But we were told to park our car in the high school parking lot and wait out the parade, because the street wouldn't open up until then. This particular street wasn't even being used by the parade! There was no reason that we could see for the street being blocked off completely. GAH!!!! We had no notices from anyone that the street would be blocked off for what turned out to be 3 hours. None. If we had known this, we would have gone grocery shopping earlier. But we didn't, so we went later. Because, you know, sleeping in is kind of nice. Luckily, as we drove around fuming and wondering what to do with our melting ice cream, juice, and dinners, I saw one of the members of our ward sitting out in her carport. I pulled over to ask if we could park in their driveway (there wasn't any available parking on the street, it was jam packed 3 blocks from the parade). I couldn't even get the words out, I was so frustrated and mad that I started crying. She and her husband very nicely let us sit with them and chatted for 2 hours (we drove around for 1 trying to get home) before the parade was finally over and they had taken down the road block and we were able to get home. It was after 10 when we finally got the groceries put away and dinner on the table. Thank goodness The Man was led by the Spirit to buy a frozen lasagna, because that's what we had to nuke and eat for dinner. And I'm so thankful that we didn't have a bunch of hungry, screaming kids in the car. That would have really sucked.

But we did get a Fat Boy ice cream sandwich out of it.

The Fam

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Dust in the Blink of An Eye

Well, I suppose I should write something about my birthday. Yep, that's right, I'm now 27 years old. *sigh*

I certainly don't feel 27. I'm now older than some of the women "interviewed" for sex stories in Cosmo magazine. I'm closer to 30 than ever. And 30 is old. I don't feel like I should be 27 years old. I feel like I'm still around 22 or so. I'm almost an adult!!! As a kid, I thought 27 was ancient (and really, who didn't?) and that I would never be that big, old, or wise. But here I am. And I'm still not that big, or wise, though I most certainly am that old. And no kids! In church yesterday, the Primary chorister revealed that she's 26, and she already as 2 kids, one of which is 4 years old and in my Sunbeams class. She doesn't seem 26, she seems much older to me. Much more mature. I don't know if that has anything to do with the fact that she has children and I don't, but still. I felt ancient and immature at the same time. It was very weird.
I never ever thought I would be 27 and not have kids. I figured I would be almost done by now. But then, I also planned on being married by 20. I certainly didn't want to be 22 when I got married, but at least I was engaged before I turned 22. I'm not even pregnant, and there's no hope of that changing anytime soon. BAH!!!

But the actual day was fun. The Man tried to arrange another surprise party for me, and this after I specifically told him not to, but it didn't work out. The Dog Friends came though, around noon I think, and stayed until 2 AM. It was loads of fun. I love talking to them. I don't think we stopped talking the whole time. And The Parents and The In-Laws both called as well, and The Best Friend took me out to lunch, and I guess The Little Brother called the day before, but I was at work, where I got a birthday card signed by a bunch of my co-workers. That was awesome too. Yes, I still love my job. Besides the card, they will reimburse me up to 30 bucks for my birthday dinner, if I go out for one. Which I did. To Tucannos. Pricey, but ooooohhhhhh soooooo gooooood. I'm drooling just thinking about it. Oh, and The Man gave me Scrubs 3rd season on DVD for my gift. Yay! I won't tell you about the card. Let's just say it was clever. And Heavenly Father gave me the gift of FINALLY RELEASING ME FROM PRIMARY!!!!!!

Now let's all cross our fingers and hope that this year will see me getting fatter for a good reason, rather than because I like doughnuts too much.

Birthday Blowout

Sake's alive, I'm going to be 27 in 4 days. 4 DAYS!!! I never thought I would be 27, let alone 27 with no kids, but 2 dogs and 2 cats. Blah. I also never thought I would not want to have a birthday. I don't feel 27. My parents are still alive, there's no way I'm an adult. Besides, being an adult means adult responsibilities, and, well, they suck. Can I be 17 again? I liked 17.

Congratulations! It's a Dog!

Well, I said I would post pictures of Dog 2 when I felt like it, and I guess I felt like it tonight.

Here she is, in all her doggy glory. Enjoy!

I Always Forget to Put In A Freaking Title!

Wow, my life got crazy, and quick. I now have to get up in the morning, because I have my online class to take. And because of this class, I have also decided to get my rear in gear and try to keep a regular house-cleaning schedule too. With my home being a split-level, I can split it up into three different sections pretty easily without having to clean more than two rooms at a time. It's pretty nice. I'm also playing with the idea of getting up and doing one of my many exercise videos everyday. That's on top of the mile long walk that I take at least one, if not both, of The Dogs on when it's not raining out. Then, at least three days out of the week, I also work for 7 hours. So that's a lot of stuff! GAH!!! We'll see how long this lasts before I break down and go back to my lazy ways of sitting in front of the computer all day and all night. Who needs sleep? Not me! Who needs food? Not me! Who needs to use the bathroom? Not. . . .well, okay, sometimes I just can't hold it anymore.

But, back to the subject of my class: I LOVE IT!!!! This first part is a cake-walk, but that's okay, because I'm learning all sorts of nifty keen stuff. Today's lesson was on raw foodism, and what it's all about, and why it could be beneficial. And while I'm not going to turn into a rabbit, it has some valid points. So many nutrients and enzymes and good for you stuff gets destroyed when you cook foods, especially if you boil them. Though I thought it funny that you actually get more good from tomatoes if they are processed. Dan Quayle was right, ketchup should be part of the food groups. Though not vegetables. Because tomatoes are not a vegetable. They are fruit. A fruit, dang it! I know I'm right because I'm in school.
I also learned that the action of chewing can relieve stress, and that's a big reason we eat when we are stressed. Oh, and blueberries are better for you if they are cooked. Too bad blueberries are of the devil. And at work, I learned that Kombucha smells and tastes like beer. YUM! Okay, not really. The grape flavored one even burns like alcohol does, but the Multi-Green doesn't. Yay for mushroom juice! I guess it's supposed to be really good for you. I know that The San Horhey Friend used to make this tea juice ickiness that's supposed to be good for you that The Man really liked. I wonder if it's the same?

And now for total randomness: What's with swearing? Is it bad, good, mediocre, slightly burnt but still okay? I've started swearing more, and I'm not sure what I think about it. I try not to, at least not casually, but when you keep slamming your finger in doors and cabinets, and your teenager of a dog keeps jumping on you because it thinks it's a Chihuahua and not a German Shepard, it's hard not to. But I would still prefer to not hear it, though. But are they just words, that really have no meaning except what we give them, and if we would just stop thinking of them as bad words, they no longer would be, or are they really bad words and it makes the devil laugh and the angels cry if we say them? I'm slightly confused about it all. The Man swears when he's stressed, especially if he's playing a video game that was only produced to piss you off, and when he's around certain friends. Some of our friends swear pretty regularly, and others don't at all. And me, like I said, I pretty much try to keep it to when it's appropriate. I really don't think that it's right to swear just to get a rise out of people. But saying certain words when you are really upset, shocked, or hurt, seems to release something, some kind of energy. Except when I'm angry. Then I just get more angry when I swear. Maybe it's because I'm calling an actual, living, usually breathing, human a word that I find really insulting. I wish there were other words to get across the point you want to make when you swear, that are more appropriate, but then, they would probably be swear words too. And who knows, maybe in a few hundred years, all our swear words will be different, and I can skip around all day telling people they are going to hell (it's okay here, because I'm talking about the actual place. Really, I swear. Sort of.) and no one will blink an eye. But until that day, I think I will just keep it to myself, to be on the safe side. No one wants to make angels cry, you know. That's what rain is, and I hate the rain.

The Beginning of a Dirty Hippie Journey

Oh frabjious day! Caloo calay! I got my stuff for my correspondence courses! I'm so excited, and can't wait for Monday so that I can get started learning how to tell all my friends they are eating crap, and to feed to the paranoia of the masses. Yippee!!
I mean. . . .ahem. . . . .
Actually, I do believe a lot of stuff that gets passed around about how bad the food we eat is, how bad the water we drink is, how bad western medicine can be for you. At this point, (note: I reserve the right to a Woman's Prerogative, that is, to change my mind at any time) I think that most of the food we eat that is laced with man-made chemicals because it's cheaper to make that way, are also addicting. I think that the companies that make those products really don't want us to eat healthy. If we did, they'd all be out of business. They are banking on the fact that we are all really lazy, and hate to cook. It's the American Way. Why should mom bake an apple pie when you can just buy a frozen one to thaw and reheat before the big baseball game?
A lot of people I know don't want to eat "right" because it tastes so different. I was bound and determined to never, ever eat wheat bread, because as a kid, The Mom always bought nasty, cheap wheat bread. No one would want to eat wheat bread after tasting that. Besides, after looking at some of the cheap-o wheat bread labels, it's not any better for you than that pasty glue they sell as white bread. But lo and behold, today I found myself buying Rhodes frozen 100% wheat bread dough. I'm hoping it will taste as good at their white bread. Heaven forbid that I have to make my own bread!
As for the water, well, I drink tap water. I can't justify spending hundreds of dollars a year on drinking bottled water, throwing away those bottles, and contributing to the Texas-sized island of plastic floating somewhere (so I hear), when all I have to do is slap a water filter on my kitchen faucet and change the filter every 6 months. Besides, we really don't know where some of that water comes from. I saw a Penn and Teller show (I can't remember what it's called, but it's on Showtime) that showed that Everest brand drinking water comes from a municipal source. That's tap water folks!
And western medicine? Don't get me started. I have one nagging question though: If it's so much cheaper to put chemicals together to make our food, why is it so darned expensive to put chemicals together to make medicine? And while I realize that there is probably a valid answer to that question, it still annoys me. I really don't think that the pharmaceutical companies have our health in mind when they make medicine. I think all they want is what's in our wallets. Also, I would rather spend $60 dollars on a bottle of pills that come from plants that can grow without any help from us, then $60 dollars on a bottle of pills (and there would probably be fewer of them anyway) that have to be made by man, in a laboratory. Scriptures say that God put everything that we need here. So why are we relying on man-made chemicals to heal us? I understand that these plants have to be processed by us in a certain way so that we can ingest them safely, but we didn't create those plants from scratch. That just bothers me. And I think it's better for us anyway.
So to wrap it all up:
Oh frabjious day! Caloo calay! My course materials are here!

We've Just Had Our 4th Kid, Mom.

Never, ever get an animal from the Humane Society in Murray, UT. The Man and I wanted to adopt another dog, so we loaded up Dog 1, and some friends, and went to the Humane Society where The Man fell in love with a 7 month old German Shepard. We applied to adopt her, but was denied that privilege because we have two cats, and according to them, she's not good with cats. WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS?!? Bah. The Man was crushed. (I was okay with looking for another dog.) But then the genius of our bringing our friends became apparent. THEY adopted her. They had to lie (why didn't we think of that?), because they already have 2 dogs AND a cat, but they got her for us. We picked her up the next day. Well, our friends did, as we covertly walked around town so the nice, sweet ladies that work at the Humane Society didn't see us and turn into the harpies we all knew they were. I mean really. A 7 month old dog just needs to be trained how to interact properly with cats. Now, if she were 7 years old, different story. But she's just a puppy. She's going to chase ANYTHING that moves. Besides, when we got her home, all she really did was look at them. She's never actually chased them, though she has walked really, really fast after them. She knows better. The other problem? She's really sick. I've never seen a dog with a snotty nose until now. And it's really, really gross. And she has kennel cough. And Dog 1 has gotten it as well. Lovely. But yay for friends that get mad at bureaucracy and government with you, and do what needs to be done to stick it to the man!

Pictures of the new dog to come when I darn well feel like it.

In other happy news, my books for my correspondence course are coming tomorrow. Wait, what correspondence course is this, you ask? I haven't told you? My, I thought I told everyone important. You know how important to me you are, right? Well, I'm taking correspondence courses to (eventually) get my degree as a Master Herbalist. I get my books tomorrow, and my class starts Monday. I'm so freaking excited! I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight. I was getting a little worried about not having my course materials yet, but the e-mail fairy blessed me with an e-mail from UPS saying that my package from the college had been shipped and should be here tomorrow and here's your tracking number just so that you know how many freaking UPS centers it went through before it got to you. Yay! So you can all come to me (in 2 years) to get tinctures, ointments, and pills for all your aches and pains. Phooey on western medicine!

And some shout outs to The Payson Friends, the wife just had their second boy last week. I'm sure he's a cutie! I wouldn't know, as I was called in to work tonight, the night we were going to meet the little bundle of drool.
And of course, a happy birthday to The Little Brother, who is now a quarter of century old. And getting married in August! You're still sixteen and shorter than me in my world! Get back to class!

Yay for stealing!

I stole this idea from a friends blog. I will look away if you want to steal it from me.

A - Attached or single: attached

B - Best Friend(s): The Man, The Best Friend

C - Cake or Pie: What a choice! I usually eat cake. Less messy

D - Day of Choice: Saturdays, if I don't have to work

E - Essential Item: Computer

F - Favorite Color(s): Purple

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Gummy Worms, I don't eat them as fast, and therefore don't get a tummy ache.

H - Hometown: Great Falls, MT

I - Indulgence(s): Being online for hours at a time

J - January or July: July. Hello! It's warm!

K - Kids: None, except for The Man, Dog 1 and Dog 2, and Cat 1 and Cat 2.

L - Life is incomplete without: The Man

M - Marriage Date: June 25th, 2003

N - Number of Siblings: 2

O - Oranges or Apples: Oranges

P - Phobias or Fears: The dark, freezing to death, and heights

Q - Quote(s): "It's a good thing life is free, because you could never charge for this crap" (or something similar)

R - Reason to Smile: The Man

S - Season: Spring/Summer

T - Tag Eight: Ha! Yeah right.

U - Unknown Fact About Me: Ummm. . . .I always want to be sitting in front of a running heater, even when it's 100 degrees outside and 90 degrees inside.

V - Vegetarian or ...not?: Mostly Vegetarian.

W - Worst Habit: Not eating

Y - Your Favorite Food: Good tacos.

Z - Zodiac: Gemini. I was more of one when I was a teenager though.

Total work randomness

Sorry to all you many, many people out there who read my blog and comment so much, for not posting recently. Believe me, it was for good reason. Why, you ask? Well, frankly, my life is boring. No, no, quiet those protests. I know how interesting I am, but somehow, that doesn't seem to rub off on my life. Maybe I play to many video games or something. . . .nah.

I still love my job. Can you believe it!?! I have NEVER loved any form of employment. I'm too lazy! But I love this job. I haven't been looking forward to going lately because I've been so tired, but I still love being there, once I'm there. Crazy!!! I never thought I'd see the day. Though I fear I'm turning into a crazed health-nut. Oh, I still like my Burger King (those fries love me as much as I love them!), and I get said Burger King when The Man can't bring me dinner. I mean, it's just across the street. How tempting is that?! But back to being a crazed health-nut: as I was going to Burger King yesterday to get my lusciousness for dinner, I was trying very hard not to breathe. Why? Because the air was full of all sorts of crap because of an impending storm that never happened. Smog and dirt, and nasty things, I'm sure. All I could think was "I don't want to breathe this crap!" But it's hard to keep driving and not breathe at the same time. Takes some talent. I was quite happy about breathing when I drove home though, because it was dark, and I couldn't see the crapiness of the air. Guess I'm never going to visit L.A. I'll probably pass out from lack of oxygen before I even get out of the car. So, yay for loving your job!

I am drinking the BEST JUICE EVER right now. Bolthouse Farms 100% Clementine Juice. Love it. It really does taste like clementines. Work has also given me all sorts of new food addictions. Thankfully, they are probably better for me than say, Dr Pepper. So, go out to your local health food joint and buy you a bottle of this nectar from the gods. You will thank me for it, I promise.

Work romances, yay or nay? Really, I want your opinions. I'm okay with them, seeing as how I met The Man at work. But there is a girl I work with that asked a guy I work with to go to a school dance with her. He wanted to say no (I found out last night), but said "Maybe, I think I have something going on," instead. She heard "Maybe. I don't think I have something going on." And proceeded to tell everyone at work that they were going to the dance together. She asked everyone for date ideas, and kind of dressed up for him one day. He's a super nice guy, and so is struggling on how to tell her no. And he's got to, because I think she really likes him, and if he ends up going to this dance with her, she will have the impression that he likes her. Well, she already has that impression. This is were I told him to lie (bad, bad blogger!) and say he had a family emergency come up. After this weekend, I will probably try to let her know that he really doesn't like her as much as she thinks he does, he's just a really nice guy. She's a good Mormon girl who doesn't encourage lying, and he's a bad Mormon boy who likes to say the "F-word" a lot and he doesn't think she'd like that too much. And he doesn't like her. But that's not really important when it comes to love, now is it?

Getting. . .very. . . sleepy. . . .

I am so wiped out. I just worked on a day I'm used to having off, and had to work register 3, instead of 1 or 2, which means I was stuck facing the dairy section all day. SO BORING!!!! The dairy section isn't that big, so it doesn't take very long. Thankfully, freight came in today, so I had a bunch of stuff I could put out, even though it wasn't my job. Then I spent a couple of hours organizing the teeny tiny freezer in the back. That sucked! No one in that store ever attempts to keep that freezer organized. It was a mess! I was pretty pissed about being on 3 again, until the assistant manager told me that he and the store manager were planning on using me to fill the lead cashier position soon. They think I'm very reliable and a hard worker, so they want me to take that position. They've had a hard time filling it because every time they start to think someone is ready for it, they quit. It really made my day better. Unfortunately, I'm also scheduled 5 days next week! AAAAHHHHH!!! I talked to the store manager, who is a freaking bear and just as scary, and I hope I didn't piss him off by mentioning that I don't want full-time hours. But then, most people want more hours than they are getting. It's just that I know we don't need me to be working that much, so I really don't want to. It's hard work! And I'm L.A.Z.Y. I guess we'll see what happens.

Silence has Strength

This video makes me choke up. I would love to see this in real life. Word of warning; if you don't like religious things, don't watch. Well, watch anyway, the guys photography ability is amazing!

Reflections of Christ

"I'm going inside, it's cold. . ."

Whoever said, "Winter comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb," was dead wrong. In fact, if they are not dead already, I will make sure to put them out of their misery for making such a false statement.
The last two weeks have proven to me that Winter is a screaming three year old throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store because he isn't getting what he wants, i.e., to stick around, and Spring has to drag him out kicking and screaming and clawing at everything he can get a hold of.
I detest winter. I'm ready for it to be over 1 week after it starts. So the way it keeps hanging on is driving me batty! On Monday, the weather was a perfect 81 degrees, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. The next day, it snowed. Oh, it didn't stick at all, BUT IT STILL SNOWED!!!! GAAAHHH!

Has anyone else ever noticed that all the seasons except winter are depicted as gentle, beautiful, women? And winter as a crotchety, old man (usually)? There must be some correlation to this. . . . My favorite Old Man Winter was Grandpa Simpson's version in the episode about Homer's Mr. Plow business. That is exactly how I picture him, in his faded long johns with ice cubes tied around his head, laughing manically. I'd be crotchety too.

Money Money Money

Thank you Turbo Tax! I finally got my taxes done, after forgetting about them, then losing my W-2 and 1099-MISC forms. Pure panic, that was. I hate tax time, but we qualified for that "We started that stupid war that's sucking our economy dry, so we will give you even more money to spend" rebate though, which is nice, since we didn't get much back in our refund. There is so much we want to do with it! We will probably end up buying a Wii from our friend who never plays his anymore, which will add to our already massive number of playable consoles we have in our house. Not that we actually play most of them. But it's cool to have so many.

And since it's Saturday night, I can't stop thinking about the fact that we STILL haven't been released from our Sunbeams calling. I was talking to one of the mothers of the kids and she found out that we use the same manual to teach the just-barely-turned-4 year olds that they use for we've-been-4-for-awhile, 5, 6 and 7 year old kids. She was actually quite annoyed. Which made me think, if I'm going to be stuck in this calling for another 10 years, I'm not going to be teaching them things that they don't understand. I know that the previous Sunbeams teacher didn't. So I'm going to talk to the new Primary president and see if she'll let me go down a level with that. If there are actually lessons that the kids can understand, maybe they will actually sit still for 2 seconds and learn something. And enjoy it. Even if I have to tie them to their chairs to accomplish it. But let's all cross our fingers, pray to whatever God you pray to (dirt, money, trees, etc.) and all hope that we get released tomorrow.

Religion and Housewives

I Can Not Stand religious themed forwards. You know the ones. The ones that imply at the end that you must not love baby Jesus if you don't forward it to at least 100 people in 5 minutes. I must hate baby Jesus, as I always delete those without even reading them. The Mom always sends them to me, and it's quite annoying. I mean really people, isn't there a better way to let people know that you are a nice, humble, God-fearing Christian without sending out mass e-mails with vomit-inducing cutesy type pictures and quotes? I'm glad that you are so proud of the fact that you love Jesus so much. Just don't send me e-mails telling me that I'm going straight to hell if I don't agree with you, disguised as caring, anymore. I personally think that those e-mails are a sin right up there with murder. I know Jesus loves you, and me, and all of us! Ain't it wonderful! But I don't need an e-mail to remind me of that fact. I just need to pray and read my scriptures. The only person that can get away with those e-mails in my world is The Dad, as he is a minister, and those kinds of sentiments are more expected. I mean, it is his job.

On the other hand, The Little Sister-In-Law sent me this in an e-mail:
I hope it's readable (if you right-click on it, and open in a new tab/window, it's a little bit bigger). This is hilarious. It's hard to imagine that women all over the country read this and actually thought it was true! And tried to do it all! My favorite line is the one that says that the man is the master of the home and will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. HIS will. Or else it's the one that says to take 15 minutes to rest before he gets home so that you look like you don't do anything all day, then continues to tell you what you need to do 5 minutes before he gets home because you wasted all that time resting. No wonder women's lib threw up all over society in the 60's. I probably would have gone on a murderous rampage being told that I, my day, problems, and opinions didn't matter one whit. If I am obligated to listen to The Man's rants, than he is definately obligated to listen to mine. Hilarious!

Ooops

Today is the day that I learned to never microwave a brownie. Even if it is still raw after being baked for 45 minutes. Not for 2 minutes anyway. It's not very appetizing, even if it does look like it is.

Gullible

Yep, I admit it, I am gullible. How do I know? Don't most gullible people think they are hard to fool? Well, I realized today that I will believe just about anything written in a book that sounds good unless it pisses me off. Then there is no possible way that it could be true. What causes me to say such things? I picked up a book while working today that touted consuming more greens and the massive health benefits that will happen if you do. I read the book jacket, the foreword, and authors note, and the first page of the first chapter and by then I was thinking, "This sounds really good. The Man and I should totally do this." And that was all I read of the book, all shift. My brain is now convinced that our lives would be so much richer and fuller and healthier if we would just eat "green drinks" every day! So, I am Gullible.

Now, I'm sure there are many, many benefits to eating your roughage, whether it be in smoothie form, juice form, or a salad, and I'm sure that the benefits would be HUGE for me and The Man if we actually ate that well. I really do want to try it, but I'm thinking that maybe I should read a bit more about it to find out if we would actually stick to it before I spend our retirement savings on books about how to eat more lettuce. Will I be able to hold out? Will I start eating like a rabbit? Will The Man be willing to forgo his doughnuts to eat a smoothie of cabbage and other such greenness? Will anyone really care? Find out in the next installment of. . . . .well, probably not this blog.

Oh, and just because you know the assistant manager (or even the store manager. Or the OWNER!) of a store does not give you the right to enter said store 1 minute before closing, and leisurely do your weeks worth of shopping, causing at least one cashier and several floor people to have to stay late. We are here to serve you, but we are not your servants. Have some respect, and let us go home on time!

Bane of My Existence

Blech! It snowed today! (Today being Sunday.) There was probably six inches on our picnic table when I got up this morning. I don't live in Montana anymore God! Winter is supposed to be over here! Is anyone listening up there??? Oh well. Hopefully it won't snow tomorrow. I don't know why but winter is the worst time of year for me. I hate the cold and the snow and the gray days. Growing up in Montana, you'd think it wouldn't bother me, but instead, it caused a deep rooted fear of freezing to death to form. Lovely. I'd rather die of heat stroke than become an icicle, though I hear it is quite lovely, because you get all warm and sleepy. I wouldn't last one minute in the Arctic Circle. I'm sure the polar bears are relived to hear that.

And totally off subject, I'm SO TIRED OF PRIMARY!!!!! I was so hoping to get released today, just like the last three Sundays, but it didn't happen. I thought I was going to cry. The kids are great, they mostly behave, and I love them all, but I'm ready to be taught, rather than teach. My own well of spiritual knowledge is depressingly low, and I'm terrible at teaching myself. Besides, I love to hear other people's opinions on things. My favorite lessons, in fact, are the ones that totally get off subject and people start arguing about things like polygamy, where Kolob is and whether Heavenly Father lives there or somewhere else, where dinosaur bones came from, birth control and whether working moms are being judged in our ward or not by the stay-at-home moms. I almost never participate, because I find these kinds of conversations pointless, but hilarious. These ideas really don't pertain to our own salvation, but it is so interesting to hear what others think. And let me tell you, 4 year-olds say what you tell them to say. You don't get to hear those kinds of discussions, nor do you get to hear discussions on things that DO pertain to salvation, things that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and motivate you to better yourself and draw closer to the Lord. I so so so so so so so miss that. I want it. I NEED some adult interaction! 4 years is long enough, I think. But we'll see. In the mean time, I'll keep trying to want to teach the kids, rather than use the fact that I work Saturday nights to make The Man do it every Sunday, and I'll keep praying that I'll be released next week. Of course next week is General Conference, so it won't happen then, but I'm looking forward to my break. And maybe after posting this on here, I can finally shut up about it and give my friends a break from my constant whining about it. But then again, everybody needs someone to annoy them so that they learn patience and tolerance, and I'm really good at teaching that lesson! I'll just have to find something else to whine about.

The Search of Futility

So, I'm sitting here, in front of my computer thinking, "I have a blog now, whatever do I do with this thing?" Apparently I am supposed to write things that I want the whole world and it's Grandma to see. Unfortunately for you all, my panties are not on that list. Sorry. They are really great, though.

I spent a few minutes today on Myspace and Facebook trying to find some old friends of mine. Anyone really. I only talk to one friend from high school on a regular basis, though I'm in touch with a few of them. And he really only wants to talk to my husband because I don't play the same kinds of video games he does. Come on! Send a little love my way! The sad thing for me about searching for old friends, especially ones from high school, is that I realize over and over again how much I miss having that group of friends. I have friends now, but almost all of them were ones I met through my husband, so they aren't my friends. My old friends though, well, I knew that they liked me for me. When they called, they called to talk to me. I was found interesting and unique, even if I really wasn't. I had a lot of friends. I wasn't popular, not by a long shot, and I didn't care about that, but I really did have a lot of friends, and I really miss that sometimes. It's lonely going to church knowing that you don't have anyone to look forward to seeing, or to sit next to and write notes to back and forth. It makes it hard to go. (Not that my Primary calling makes it any easier. But that's for a later post.) I'm just so grateful that I do have someone to sit next to. I try to be friendly with other people, but it's been slow going, no thanks to my shyness, which I worry will come across as snobbery, which just makes it worse, and the fact that my husband and I have been Primary since before we had time to really make friends. And I don't care what anyone says, you don't make friends when you are a Primary teacher, at least not easily. There was a group that I used to go to, but my new job has me working the nights that it's held on, at least for now, so I can't go anymore. I really loved going too! So, in short, I miss my old friends, and I regret that I ever stopped having contact with them. Only one thing really gives me any comfort about it. I know that they will still be my friends in the next life and I'm assuming that reconnecting with them when I see them again won't be difficult at all. Since everything will be, you know, perfect.

Ahem. . . .

So, this is my blog. We'll see how it goes. I WILL rant, there will be very little raving, and all of you will probably decide I am certifiably insane and should be locked up. One of my friends has a blog where she takes a letter from the alphabet and talks about something related to that letter. Maybe I will start by doing that. And maybe I won't. Oh, and I will shamelessly promote my husband's drawing abilities and cartoons by putting them on my blog. They are really good, so keep a look out.