Well, Labor Day is past, and the planet is following the calender to a T. It's now officially autumn. At least in my book. The leaves are still on all the trees, the grass is still green (and needs mowing), and the plants in my garden not dead from neglect are still growing. But it's fall. The sky is a different shade of blue, and the air smells different. It's colder at night, and it's not getting near as hot during the day (yay for open windows!), which means we can finally do without air conditioning. I'm waiting for the day when I wake up, look outside, and all the leaves are dead and on the ground. I'm not looking forward to it. I really hate winter. I hate the dead trees, I hate the dirty snow, I hate the cold and the ice. I hate how it feels so much longer than summer does, and I hate hate HATE the clouds. Gray, cloudy days make me depressed before I even know it's cloudy out. I wake up to a different shade of light in my room and I don't want to get out of bed. I get frustrated and grumpy and cry more easily. And no, it's not PMS. At least not most of the time. I don't understand people who get happy on cloudy days. But it seems to me that most people around here are like that. *sigh* I'm surrounded by freaks of nature.
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! SAP ALERT! OUT OF CHARACTER MUSHINESS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
But I do love the way autumn feels on my skin. Each season feels different, has a different color to it. Autumn feels golden. That's the best way I can put it. When it's a nice, clear day, no clouds, cool without being freezing, I love autumn. I don't get to see many of those days anymore. I'm too busy being inside all the time, playing at being a grown up. I'm starting to really understand why my parents and old people wax nostalgic all the time about the past and their childhood. I'm starting to do it myself. You kids don't know how good you've got it! So quit whining! And get off my lawn!
I hope that someday I can really change the way I live, and spend more of it outdoors, just enjoying the outside. Being locked up, hidden away, I miss so much. But I go outside, and sometimes it makes it all better, if only for a few minutes. Then Dog 2 pees on the lawn, Dog 1 starts eating the grass (maybe I should let her, then at least it would be shorter), I hear some punk kid playing their music too loud, and the wind blows and I get cold, so I go inside, forgetting why I liked being outside in the first place. Autumn is just too damn confusing.
