Tom Cruise on Home Teaching

This is awesomely funny.

Bad Backs and Bad Dishwashers

Really? That's clean? Come now dishwasher fairy, I feed you. Maybe not the best, but you don't have to crap all over my dishes. Are you really going to insist that I get the expensive stuff? Maybe I'll just get a new dishwasher fairy. How's THAT make your wand sparkle?

So, fairy stuff aside, we did have to switch detergents. I don't know what was on this plate to make the soap residue stick like that, but it just wouldn't come off. We washed it 3 times. I finally washed it by hand, after The Man threatened to throw it away. We probably need to just clean the dishwasher, but I'm not entirely sure how to do that. Still, I don't recommend Kirkland brand dishwasher detergent. At least not in older dishwashers. The dishwasher fairies don't seem to like it.

And here, good readers, is the reason why I have a massage therapist:


This is me (please ignore the giant zit in the middle of my back) about halfway through a session. My massage therapist wanted me to see for myself how bad my back is messed up. He told me to sit up straight, but relaxed. This is the result. I'm completely off kilter. And this is after about 2 years of work. He says I'm tons better than I was, and I feel tons better, but there is still a lot of work to be done.

Here's what it looked like when he was done:

Crazy, no? Too bad it doesn't stay that way. I'm still a little tilted to the right, but not nearly as badly. And look! My elbows are level!

These aren't super recent pictures; they were taken in April. But they are a pretty good idea of what is going on with my back, because I haven't been able to get work done on me more than once a month, thanks to both of our work schedules not coinciding. My word of advise for those pregnant ladies out there: get massages. Regular ones. I had super bad round ligament pain for a while (to the point of not being able to walk very well without it hurting super bad), until my massage therapist figured out what kind of magic to work on me. I can now stand at my job for the most part without wanting to cry, and I can walk. My back also isn't hurting (though that might be from my lack of belly) like I thought for sure it would with the extra weight. Plus, it just feels good. For the most part. If you don't need to be fixed, like me, the relaxing ones are the best. Maybe I'll make him do one of those next time. . . . .

And You Thought Jabba the Hut Was Big

Look at me, I'm huge!!!!!

Okay, not really. Not for 6 months. This is 27 weeks (and 1 day, but who's counting? Certainly not ME). I'm also pulling my (non-maternity) dress back so you can see that I actually do have a stomach. You can see it really well when I'm naked. Promise.

Don't worry, I won't post that. No one wants to see that.

Can I say though, in all honesty, that, except for on our anniversary, when we went to the zoo, I am jealous of NOT being bigger. I probably won't be so "upset" about it with my next ones, but for my first, after waiting 6.5 years to even get pregnant, I wanted it to be super obvious. Yes, I know, I really don't want to be big, especially in the summer, count my blessings, blahdy blah blah. Phooey. I think big bellys are cute, and I wanted one (insert pouty face and foot stomp here). I've been hearing for 6 months that I don't look pregnant, I really hope I'm not hearing it at 9.

Some good things: I'm not nearly as hormonal as I thought I would be (I'm not crying at commercials anyway), I'm not sick anymore, I can still squeeze into my regular bras, I haven't had to buy maternity underwear, my feet aren't swelling (yet) and my skin has never looked better.

Best thing: She kicks like mad. I'm just glad to know she's in there and doing fine.

Oh yes, my amniotic fluid is now at a normal level, but I still have to drink a gallon of water every day to make sure it stays there. Goody. My midwife said I could leave out 8 ounces if I really wanted too. What a bargin. Whoever thought you could get heartburn from water?

Bad things (better stick with the theme): Heartburn, though it isn't super bad yet, just a little uncomfortable, vomit burps, peeing every 20 minutes, phantom pees if she's kicking my bladder, not being able to bend over completely any more, not fitting into my regular pants, but my maternity pants are constantly falling off (is this just me?), and constant round ligament pain on my left side.

Hmmmmm, those aren't nearly as bad as they could be. I should stop whining.



Nah.