My I'd-Rather-Be-Playing-Video-Games Cleaning Guide

So I'm not the most domestic person in the world.  I hate pretty much anything that has to do with being domestic, from cooking to cleaning to doing any parenting that requires me getting off the couch.  But since I'm pretty darn good at cooking, and my child is perfect and thus easy to parent, this post is about cleaning.  Which I suck at.  In fact, cleaning is the thing I hate to do most, and before Baby Cakes came along, it was the thing I did the least.  My time was much too taken up with video games and tv to bother cleaning.  I would wait until I couldn't stand the mess anymore, and then go on a cleaning spree, which usually happened every couple of months.  In fact, my usual signal that it was time to clean was that the dust bunnies and clumps of dog hair in the corners would start talking to me and eating all our food.

Even after Baby Cakes came along, my cleaning schedule didn't change, because, well, she didn't do much.  It was when she started crawling, then walking, that I started looking for some kind of cleaning checklist that I could stand to do.  It was annoying seeing her so covered in dog and cat hair that she looked like an Ewok.  Still, it took me a long time to find exactly what I wanted: A cleaning checklist that would keep my house at least looking clean, but that wouldn't take me all day to do.  Most cleaning checklists I found SAID they only took 15 minutes a day, but in all actuality, it would have taken me all day to do the chores.  Very frequently they were "deep cleaning" chores included, like wiping down baseboards and cupboards, as well as the regular vacuuming, dusting, and mopping and you were supposed to do this every day.  Now, I suppose if you had no kids at home during the day and no job and you did it every single day without fail, some of these lists really would only take 15 minutes, but there was no way it would only take me 15 minutes to do them.  There were also usually about 5 - 10 different chores to do every day, as well as weekly, monthly, and seasonal chores.  Basically, my whole life would have been spent cleaning.  Which, if that's what you want to do, great, do it!  But that's not what I want to do.  I want to play video games, do something crafty (the one "domestic" thing I like to do), and maybe play with my daughter too.  I'm not one of those parents that is able to have my 3 year old do any cleaning and be satisfied with it, so bonding over cleaning doesn't happen.  I have to do it myself, and I hate doing it, so my standards for a cleaning checklist are pretty high.  I finally found one, and even though I can't remember where I got it from now, I'm going to tell you what it is here.  Sorry, no pretty graphics.  I don't know how to do that.  I know, I'm a bad blogger (if someone wants to volunteer their services, I'll happily pay you in cookies).

Basically what I wanted was a list that gave me 1 or 2 simple chores to do every day that would at least make my house LOOK clean, if not actually clean it.  This did not include doing dishes, that is one chore that I do every morning (takes about 10 minutes, unloading and loading, in case you're wondering.  Thankfully, I only have to do it once a day most days).  I finally found a list that had one chore every day that included optional once a week deep cleaning of one thing, which I choose to ignore for now.  I started following it, and after some tweaking, here is my daily chore list (you will notice that dusting is not on this list.  This is because, no matter what I use, dusting makes The Man's asthma act up, so it is something done only when I can't stand it anymore, instead of regularly):

Monday: Laundry
Now, The Man is in charge of doing our laundry (which he does on the weekend), so I do Baby Cakes' laundry and strip the beds and wash the sheets and towels.  I also put clean sheets on (usually right before going to bed).  While this chore technically takes most of the day, I'm not standing over the washing machine all day (thank you technology), so total time is probably around 15 - 30 minutes, depending on how much "help" I'm getting from Baby Cakes. 

Tuesday: Put away the laundry
No, I don't fold the laundry first.  Wrinkles are not something I worry about.  I pair socks as I put them away, and I only fold pants and towels so they'll fit in the drawers better.  Probably takes me 15 - 30 minutes, again depending on how much "help" I receive.

Wednesday: Vacuum
This is the longest chore for the week.  And I hate doing it.  If I don't get interrupted, I can get it done in 30 - 45 minutes, but it usually takes about 60 - 90 minutes because I have to pick up toys off the floor before I can vacuum.  So I guess that chore gets done too, because we really suck at having Baby Cakes pick up her toys every night.  I also have to wait until Baby Cakes goes to a different level of the house, because she doesn't like how loud the vacuum is.  This is a chore that gets skipped about once a month due to not feeling like it.  Also, I vacuum every floor, including the ones not carpeted.  The vacuum cuts down on flying dust much better than sweeping does, and it's a lot faster and not as messy.

Thursday: Clean the kitchen
For me, this means wiping down the stove, sink, counters, table, and chairs.  I also mop the floor if it needs it and I feel like it (usually not until my feet are sticking to it).  So mopping happens around once a month.  This one takes about 15 minutes (20 if I mop), even with "help", because Baby Cakes is pretty good at wiping things.

Friday: Clean the bathrooms
This one is much easier than I think a lot of people realize, especially after you start doing it weekly.  I don't mop the floors because they are super small and it's hard to get a mop in there without constantly bumping into things and performing contortionist tricks, so I will spot clean around the toilet when needed (which thanks to the fact that The Man can aim, and Baby Cakes pees sitting down, is pretty rare).  I just wipe down the counters, sinks, tub, and toilets.  This takes 15 minutes total - 10 minutes in one bathroom, 5 in the other.

Saturday and Sunday: Not a blasted thing (though mowing may start happening here soon).

I've noticed since I've started following this list (I've been doing it for about 6 months, I'd say) that my tolerance for a mess is going down.  I'm much more likely to randomly put things away if they aren't where they are supposed to be, and I'm getting better at not setting things down in random places in the first place.  Now if I can get The Man to stop doing that, everything would be golden.  Anything else that needs cleaning happens as I feel like doing it and Baby Cakes lets me.  So I end up with a day that is open to actually do things, like go outside or to the library or park.  Or watch tv.  You know, important stuff.

Oh yeah, the nice thing about this list (besides the fact that it's easy)?  It doesn't make my house look like it could be in Better Homes and Gardens, which helps me remember that my house looking perfect at all times is NOT important.  It's important that it's clean, because being sick sucks, but if there are toys on the floor more days than not, or dog hair on the couch every day but Wednesday, eh.  What's important is that I have time to beat Diablo 3.

Post of Controversy #5 Religious Liberty, Racism, and Homophobia

So today I learned that people tried to use religious freedom to discriminate against different races in their places of business before the Civil Rights Movement, a la the thankfully vetoed bill recently brought to the table in Arizona proposing that those who don't agree with homosexual marriage should be allowed to also refuse to do business with them.  They were shot down too, as should any bill trying to "protect" peoples supposed right to discriminate against people they don't happen to like.  Discriminating against homosexuals is no different than discriminating against people of different races and cultures.  It really isn't.  They are people who deserve to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of anything else.  You know, the golden rule and all that.  You don't really need me to repeat that do you?


 In case you needed reminding.

When "Religious Liberty" Was Used To Justify Racism Instead of Homophobia